Unequal Childhoods - Annette Lareau [70]
Ms. Williams’s vehement opposition to television is based on her view of what Alexander needs to grow and thrive. She objects to the passivity of television and to the fact that “most of the programs that come on Saturday morning really don’t contribute anything to your intellect.” She feels it is her obligation to help get her son out of the house to cultivate his talents.
Sometimes Alexander complains that “my mother signs me up for everything!” Generally, however, he likes his activities. He says that they make him feel “special” and that without them, life would be “boring.” His sense of time is so thoroughly entwined with his activities that he feels disoriented when his schedule is not full. This sense of unease is clear in the following excerpt from a field note taken as the family is returning home from a back-to-school night. The following day Ms. Williams has to take a work-related day trip (a two-hour train ride each way) and will not be home until late at night. Alexander is grumpy because he does not have anything planned for the next day. He wants to have a friend over, but his mother rebuffs him. Whining, he wonders out loud what he will do. His mother, speaking tersely, says:
“You have piano and guitar. You’ll have some free time. (pause) I think you’ll survive for one night.” Alexander does not respond but seems mad. It is quiet for the rest of the trip home.
Both of Alexander’s parents believe his activities are important for his development. They view the benefits as wide ranging. In discussing Alexander’s piano lessons, Mr. Williams notes that as a result of learning through the Suzuki method,5 Alexander is already able to read music. He sees music training as beneficial:
I don’t know baroque from classical—but he does. How can that not be a benefit in later life? I’m convinced that this rich experience will make him a better person, a better citizen, a better husband, a better father—certainly a better student.
Ms. Williams sees music as building her son’s “confidence” and his “poise.” In interviews and in conversation, she often stresses the notion of “exposure,” making it clear that she sees it as her responsibility to broaden Alexander’s worldview, like Louise and Don Tallinger seek to broaden Garrett’s worldview. Ms. Williams considers childhood activities a learning ground for important life skills:
Sports provide great opportunities to learn how to be competitive. Learn how to accept defeat. Learn how to accept winning, in a gracious way. Also it gives him the opportunity to learn leadership skills and how to be a team player. Those . . . sports really provide a lot of really great opportunities.
Alexander’s activities change regularly; as new seasons commence, some activities wind down and others start up. Since the schedules of sports practices and games are issued no sooner than the start of the new season, advance planning is rarely possible. The sheer number of activities means that inevitably some events will overlap. Some activities, though short-lived, are extremely time consuming. Alexander’s school play, for example, requires attendance at three nights of rehearsals the week before the opening. Finally, time constraints also sometimes require that Alexander opt out of activities because his parents cannot adjust their work schedules sufficiently. For instance, Mr. Williams explained that Alex was a good enough soccer player to qualify for the traveling team, but they could not let him sign up because Mr. Williams could not leave work early enough to get Alexander to the out-of-town games.
Participation in organized sports provides middle-class children with more than an outlet for their energy or an opportunity to develop physical skills. Many of the soccer teams in the area where Alex lives, although comprised of third- and fourth-graders,