Unequal Childhoods - Annette Lareau [85]
Some weekends Harold takes the bus across town to visit Hank in the house he shares with his mother and two brothers. These overnight stays usually are not formally planned in advance; Harold “just shows up.”1Alexis does not accompany Harold on these trips. Sometimes, though, Hank’s daughters (Alexis’s half-sisters) come over and take her out. Hank contributes to the household periodically, for example, by buying pizza on Friday nights. He sometimes gives Ms. McAllister money for the children, especially for clothing. He expresses pride in his son’s accomplishments and attends key events in Harold’s life (e.g., fifth-grade graduation). He does not usually manage Harold’s day-to-day care or discipline him.
Table 3 lists the individuals who live in and/or regularly visit the McAllister apartment. Usually, there are five to seven people staying overnight in the house and, when both Jill and Keith are there, as many as nine.2 The children sleep in different beds on different nights. Sometimes they ask for help finding room:
RUNAKO: Hey, Jane. I can’t get in. Harold’s spread across the bed.
JANE: Move Harold’s butt over. He’s sleeping on the short way. Just push him over some.
Unlike in middle-class homes, there is not a clear sense of private space in the McAllister’s apartment.
The family lives under formidable economic constraints. Ms. McAllister receives Aid to Families with Dependent Children for Harold and Alexis, and she has a medical card for doctor visits.3 Although she uses food stamps, food is often in short supply. The children always ask permission before they eat something; we never observed them helping themselves to food. When put out, food usually disappears rapidly, as there are many mouths to feed. For example, one afternoon, an entire large box of saltine crackers and some jam is devoured in thirty minutes as Harold and Alexis, Runako and Guion, a neighbor’s three-year-old grandson, myself, and Ms. McAllister snack and talk.
On special occasions food may be plentiful. At a birthday party for Jill’s daughter Halima, hot dogs, buns, mustard, Kool-Aid, and Cheese-Its were in abundance. More often, however, there is not quite enough to go around. One Friday night, for instance, the two pizzas in the oven must be divided among Ms. McAllister, Harold, Alexis, Lori, Hank, and Jill. When Harold asks for a second piece of pizza, he is redirected to drink soda. Another night, each child has one meatball, canned yams, and canned spinach for dinner. There is not enough for second helpings.
TABLE 3. OVERVIEW OF MCALLISTER FAMILY
Money is in equally short supply. The family forgoes some things—like dental care, stylish clothing, and hair treatments—and shares others, like transportation costs.4 Ms. McAllister’s sister Dara loans her bus pass to the family for outings and sometimes friends supply car rides. Among the children, the desire for money, and the access it brings to material objects, is palpable. They clamor for money one morning when Lenny comes by and holds out some dollar bills before their eyes. Their longing is clear, too, when they make wishes. In response to, “What would you do if you had a million dollars?” Alexis said:
Oh, boy! I’d buy my brother, my sister, my uncle, my aunt, my nieces, and my nephews, and my grandpop, and my grandmom, and my mom, and my dad, and my friends, not my friends, but mostly my best friend—I’d buy them all clothes . . . and sneakers. . . . And I’d buy some food, and I’d buy my mom some food, and I’d get my brothers and my sisters gifts for their birthdays.
Harold and Alexis, however, do not press their mother or father to buy them things:
We stop outside [a clothing store] and Hank carefully [looks] at clothes and at the prices