Unexpectedly, Milo - Matthew Dicks [13]
This incident was followed by a noticeable absence of invitations to Jimbo’s home for the duration of the summer and eventually an end to their friendship as school resumed in the fall. In the classroom, on the playground, and in the cafeteria, Jimbo avoided all contact with his old friend, and within two weeks, Milo had gotten the message and stopped trying. And though Milo was certain that it was Jimbo’s decision to end the friendship, he was also certain that Jimbo’s mother wanted her son to keep as far away from Milo as possible. The look on her face that day, the expression of utter incomprehension, had stuck with Milo for all his life. It was this look that had first told Milo that he was not at all normal, and it had convinced Milo to keep his inexplicable needs to himself.
Milo found Arthur Friedman sitting at a small table, eating oatmeal and watching the local news. He turned down the volume on the television as Milo entered the room. “Did you bring them?” he barked.
“Of course,” Milo said, removing a prescription bottle from the paper bag. “But you’re going to wait until I leave before you use them.”
“Then get the hell out right now,” the old man barked again. Barking out orders was Arthur Friedman’s primary form of communication.
“Why? You got a date?” Milo asked, removing his helmet and placing it on the countertop. He knew that his client was kidding, but he enjoyed playing along.
“That’s not funny, Milo. Not funny one bit. Making fun of an old guy who helps to pay your bills ain’t smart. And besides, look who’s talking. You don’t exactly have anything keeping you warm at night either.”
“Yeah, but at least I can still get it up.”
“So can I,” Arthur Friedman countered. “I just need a little help from my little blue friends.” Friedman gestured to the bottle that Milo had already placed alongside the platoon of prescriptions lining the backsplash of the sink.
When Milo had first filled Arthur Friedman’s Viagra prescription more than a year ago, he had tried to avoid discussing the medication with his client, delivering the bottle as nonchalantly as he did every other prescription. But he had known that the old guy would not permit the subject to go unexplored. Making Milo squirm was one of Arthur Friedman’s greatest sources of amusement.
“So I guess you’re wondering why an old guy like me might want Viagra?” he had finally asked, waiting just long enough for Milo to think that he might escape the visit without broaching the subject.
“Viagra? I hadn’t even noticed,” Milo lied.
“Bullshit, young man. You noticed. And I know you noticed. So don’t you want to know what’s up?” Arthur Friedman smiled, letting Milo know that the pun had not been unintended.
“Listen, Mr. Friedman—I really don’t need to know. It’s fine. Honestly. If you’ve got some honey on the side, that’s not my business. Okay?”
“A honey on the side?” the old man said, and began to laugh, more than Milo had ever heard before. Before the fit ended, Milo had begun to think that Arthur Friedman might choke to death on his own laughter. But after an interminably long period of time, he regained his composure and continued. “I can assure you, Milo, that I do not have any honey on the side. Though it may surprise you, my balding head, my expanding gut, and my flaming hemorrhoids have kept the ladies at bay for quite some time. But that doesn’t mean I can’t have a little fun from time to time, right?”
“You’re not talking about prostitutes, are you?” Milo asked, wondering where in hell a retiree might find a hooker in a small town like Wethersfield, Connecticut.
“Not prostitutes,” he said between minor aftershocks of laughter. “I’m talking about pornography, Milo. On my computer.”
Less than two weeks before, Milo had installed a new desktop computer in his client’s study, a suggestion that he made to many of his clients. A majority of them spent a great deal of time alone, some never leaving their homes except for weddings and funerals, so Milo had found that the Internet could provide these shut-ins with the ability to interact