Unexpectedly, Milo - Matthew Dicks [26]
Milo considered writing down No scoliosis but decided against it.
And then if we’re lucky, like we were today, we get to view the goddamn corpse. Why the fuck does anyone want to do this?
Freckles began to cry, had started to as she described her friend’s body, but now it was genuine weeping: nose running, cheeks reddening, tears streaming down her face. Milo felt like an intruder, trapped in a place that he didn’t belong, a Peeping Tom, a pervert in a Good Samaritan suit. As he watched the woman on screen bury her face in her hands and sob uncontrollably, he wondered how he could ever return the camera and tapes to her now. She would know that Milo had witnessed this private moment, and he didn’t think he could bear this unspoken awareness between the two of them if they were to ever meet.
She cried for almost five full minutes as Milo watched helplessly from his perch on the futon. Unlike the actors in a movie or television show, who Milo knew were only pretending to be distraught (probably doing cartwheels on the inside over the amount of money they were making with each phony tear), this woman was in genuine despair, and there was no one to comfort her. He had the sudden desire to comfort her himself, a yearning that almost took the shape of one of his demands, even though this moment of sadness had probably occurred weeks or months ago, and it pained him that he could not do so.
This desire led Milo to think about Christine, probably back in their home, finished with dinner, watching television or reading at this very moment. How many tears had Milo caused her to shed by moving out? Did she cry at night while climbing into their empty bed? The thought of Christine weeping every night like this brought tears to Milo’s eyes, and for a moment, Milo and Freckles were crying together.
Milo managed to compose himself before Freckles did, but not much sooner. He thought about stopping the tape to call Christine, to check on her, see how she was doing and perhaps set a time and day for their first date. But then he remembered how angry she had been outside Dr. Teagan’s office just hours before and decided against it. Her fury was probably keeping sadness at bay this evening, he thought.
A moment later, Freckles wiped away the last of her tears and began speaking again.
Well, I guess I’m going to have to edit these tapes after all. I can’t let the world see that disgusting display of snot.
Freckles stood up and exited the view of the camera for a moment, giving Milo his first, albeit brief, view of her lower torso. Even though she was concealed by bulky sweatpants, he thought Freckles probably had a good figure. Lean and athletic. A second later, Milo heard the sounds of her blowing her nose, and when she returned to the frame, Freckles had a box of tissues in her hand, which she placed on the sofa beside her.
Anyway, tomorrow’s the funeral, which means that Mira’s last gift to me is a day off from work. Maybe two or three if I decide I’m too upset to finish the week. I should be, right? I mean, one of my best friends is dead.
God, just saying those words is incomprehensible.
Milo continued to watch as Freckles blew her nose one more time, stood up, and exited the frame. A second later the screen went black. Milo fast-forwarded the tape to the end and found the last twelve minutes blank.
Freckles had moved on to another tape. He hoped.
Milo picked up his legal pad and made some final notes. The wake was probably