Unexpectedly, Milo - Matthew Dicks [66]
If Tess’s parents had shown up at my house, Mrs. Bryson crying like she always did when Tess ran away, I probably would’ve cracked in three minutes and told them everything. But those cops scared the hell out of me. I was absolutely positive that I was going to prison. I had helped a girl run away from home, had given her money for the road, and now I was in the biggest trouble of my life. We went into the music room, the older cop in front of me and Yosemite behind me. The older guy, the clean-shaven one, told me to sit and asked me if I knew where Tess was.
I said no.
Then they asked me if Tess had mentioned anything about running away from home.
I said no.
Then they asked me if Tess had a reason to run away. A fight with her parents? Trouble in school? A bad breakup with a boyfriend? I didn’t really understand the questions at the time, because Tess never had a reason. And it’s not like either of us had boyfriends. She just liked to run away.
So I said no.
Then they asked me about Tess’s parents … if I thought they were good parents, and they asked me a lot of questions about Mr. Bryson. Did Tess get along with him? How did Mr. Bryson treat me? Did I like Mr. Bryson? I realized that they thought that maybe Mr. Bryson did something to Tess, chopped her up in a wood chipper or threw her down a well, which I knew he didn’t do, and this scared me too. I thought, Oh my God. Now Mr. Bryson is going to be in trouble too. Because of me. And this made me want to keep my secret even more. It was like one of those snowballs in the cartoons that keep getting bigger and bigger as it moves down the mountain. The whole thing felt impossibly huge and just getting huger. The old guy asking the questions was sitting next to Danny Pollock’s tuba and I remember looking at my reflection in it, all blurry and twisted, and I thought to myself that the person looking back at me had made a promise to Tess and I was going to keep it. But that was just an excuse. It felt good and sanctimonious and righteous, but it was all bullshit. Nothing more than a good reason to keep my mouth shut and not feel guilty or responsible. Something to hang my coward’s hat on. The truth was that I was scared out of my mind and ashamed and couldn’t bear the thought of everyone knowing what I did.
I think the police believed me, because they only came back to class once more after that day, and that time, they didn’t meet with us individually. They just explained how serious the situation was and asked us to think hard about anything that might help them find Tess. Then Mrs. Lavallee put the phone number to the police station on the board, just in case anyone thought of something. By then, things in town were crazy. No one knew if Tess had run away or been abducted, so parents were keeping their kids at home after dinner. There was talk about canceling the Little League playoffs for a while, but that didn’t happen. It was a small town, still is, and people weren’t accustomed to kids disappearing in the night. I remember hearing rumors about Mr. Bryson, but I think that was later on, after people had pretty much given up hope on finding Tess. People wondered if he had something to do with it, and I think it got pretty uncomfortable for him for quite a while. But I was off the hook. My parents asked me some questions a few times, mostly trying to find out if I knew something that I didn’t realize was important, and Mrs. Bryson called once and asked if I could think of anything that might help, but I said no.
I just kept saying no, no, no all spring and summer, waiting, praying for Tess to come home or show up at her aunt’s place. I’d ask Mrs. Bryson if she heard anything when I’d see her at the grocery store or the laundromat, but my mother finally told me to stop. That it was too painful for Mrs. Bryson to talk about. So I just waited for word that she had come back or shown up in North Carolina like we had planned.
She never did. For all I know, she was picked up on the highway by some sick fuck half a mile from town and