Universe Twister - Keith Laumer [173]
"Oh?" the old chieftain said with a sly smile. "O'Leary, eh? You got any ideentification?"
"Certainly," Lafayette said promptly, patting his pockets. "I have any number of . . . documents . . . only . . ." With a sinking feeling, he surveyed the soiled red bandanna his hip pocket had produced. "Only I seem to have left my wallet in my other suit."
"Oh, too bad." King Shosto wagged his head, grinning at his lieutenants. "He left eet een hees other suit." His smile disappeared. "Well, let's see what you've got een theese suit to show for a night's work! Show us the trophy that proves your skeel weeth your feengers!"
With all eyes on him, Lafayette rummaged dubiously, came up with a crumpled pack of poisonous-looking black cigarettes, an imitation pearl-handled penknife, a worn set of brass knuckles, a second soiled handkerchief of a virulent shade of green, and a gnawed ivory toothpick.
"I, er, seem to have gotten hold of someone else's coat," he ad-libbed.
"And somebody else's pants," King Shosto grated. "And that somebody ees Zorro!" Suddenly the giant knife was in the old man's hand, being brandished under O'Leary's nose. "Now I cut your heart out!" he roared. "Only eet would be too queek!"
"Just a minute!" Lafayette back-pedaled, was grabbed and held in a rigid grip by eager volunteers.
"The penalty for failure to breeng home the bacon ees the Death of the Thousand Hooks!" Shosto announced loudly. "I decree a night of loafing and dreenking to get eento the mood, so we do the job right!"
"Zorro! What about your treeck pockets?" a tearful feminine voice cried. The girl who had been showing signs of distress ever since Lafayette's arrival rushed forward and seized his arm as if to tug him from the grip of the men. "Show them, Zorito! Show them you are as beeg a thief as any of them!"
"Gizelle, go bake a pizza!" the old man roared. "Theese is none of your beezness! Theese cowardly peeg, he dies!"
"Eet ees too!" she wailed defiantly. "Theese ees the cowardly peeg I love!"
"Zut alors!" Shosto yelled. "You . . . and theese four-flusher! Theese viper een my bosom! Theese upstart! Never weel he have you!"
"Zorito!" she wailed. "Don't you remember how I steetched all those secret pockets for you, and how you were going to feel theem weeth goodies? Don't you have one leetle souvenir of your treep to show theem?"
"Secret pockets?" Shosto rumbled. "What's theese nonsense?"
"Een his sleeves!" Gizelle seized Lafayette's cuff, turned it back, explored with her brown fingers. With a yelp of delight she drew forth a slim, silvery watch dangling from a glittering chain.
"You see? Zorito, my hero!" As she flung her arms around Lafayette's neck, Shosto grabbed the watch, stared at it.
"Hey!" the man called Luppo blurted. "You can stuff me for an owl eef that eesn't the solid platinum watch of the Lord Mayor of Artesia Ceety!"
"Where deed you get theese?" Shosto demanded.
"Why, I, ah . . ." Lafayette faltered.
"He stole eet, you brute," Gizelle cried. "What do you theenk, he bought eet een a pawnshop?"
"Well, Shosto, eet looks like Zorro fooled you theese time," someone spoke up.
"He not only leefted the Lord Mayor's watch—but what an actor!" another said admiringly. "I would have sworn he deedn't have the proverbial weendow to throw eet out of—and all the while he had the beegest heist of the decade stashed een hees coat lining!"
"Come on, Shosto—be a sport!" another challenged. "Admeet he has made the team!"
"Well—maybe I geev heem another chance." Shosto dealt himself a blow on the chest that would have staggered a lesser man, grinned a sudden, flashing grin. "Ten thousand thundering devils on a teen roof!" he roared. "Theese ees an occasion for celebration! We proceed weeth the loafing and dreenking as planned! Too bad we have to do weethout the diversion of the Death of the Thousand Hooks," he added, with a regretful glance at Lafayette. "But I can always reschedule eet, eef he doesn't treat my leetle Gizelle right!" He gestured grandly and the