Universe Twister - Keith Laumer [175]
"Actually," Lafayette said haughtily, "I thought I spotted a rare variety of coot over this way."
"Not a coot," Borako said. "A wild goose, I theenk."
"Well, I can't stand here nattering," Lafayette said loftily. "Gizelle will be wondering where I am."
He made his way back down into camp, Borako's boots clumping behind him. Gizelle met him as he reached the clearing.
"Zorito! Come! Eet's time to get ready for the wedding."
"Oh, is someone getting married?" Lafayette said. "Well, I'm sure it will be a jolly occasion, and I appreciate the invitation, but—" His remonstrances were cut short as Gizelle threw her arms around his neck.
"Uh—Gizelle," he started, "there's something I should tell you—"
"Zorito! Stop talking! How can I keess you?"
"Are you sure you know me well enough?" He temporized as she clung to him.
"Eet ees an old tribal custom," she murmured, nibbling his ear, "to sneak a leetle sample of the goods before buying . . ."
"Buying?" Lafayette stalled. "You mean stealing, don't you?"
Gizelle giggled. "Sure—you get the idea. Come on." She caught his hand and pulled him toward her wagon. As they approached it, a large man stepped forth from the shadows.
"Well—what do you want, you beeg bum?" Gizelle said spiritedly, with a toss of her head.
"The Ancient Law don't say notheeng about geeving the veectim a beeg smooch before the wedding," the man said sullenly.
"So—what's eet to you, Borako?"
"You know I got the hots for you, Gizelle!"
"Get lost, you," Lafayette spoke up. "Can't you see you're disturbing the lady?"
"You want to come out een the alley and say that?" Borako demanded, stepping forward truculently.
"No!" Gizelle cried, hurling herself at him; he knocked her roughly aside.
"Here!" Lafayette exclaimed. "You can't do that!"
"Let's see you stop me!" Borako yanked the broad knife from his belt, advanced on Lafayette in a crouch. As he slashed out with the blade, Lafayette leaned aside, clamped a complicated two-handed grip on the man's wrist and with a heave, levered him over his hip. Borako executed a flip and landed heavily on his jaw and lay still, while the knife went skittering across the grass.
"Zorito! My hero!" Gizelle squealed, throwing her arms around Lafayette's neck. "For a meenute there I theenk eet ees all over! But you protected me, at the reesk of your life! You do love me, my hero!"
"You did the same for me," Lafayette mumbled, his vocal apparatus somewhat encumbered by the kisses of the grateful girl. "That was queek theenking—I mean, quick thinking—"
"Aha—you sleeped! You forgot your phony accent!" Gizelle hugged him tighter. "Frankly, I was begeening to wonder a leetle . . ."
"Look here," Lafayette said, holding her at arm's length. "Look at me! Do I really look like this Zorro character?"
"Zorito, you are a beeg comeec!" Gizelle grabbed his ears, nibbled his cheek. "Of course you look like yourself, seely! Why shouldn't you?"
"Because I'm not myself! I mean, I'm not anyone named Zorito! I'm Lafayette O'Leary! I'm a peaceful Roumi, who just happened to be skulking around in the dark and got picked up by the City Guard, and rescued by mistake by Luppo and his thugs! And now everybody seems to think I'm somebody I'm not!"
Gizelle looked at him doubtfully. "Nobody could look theese much like my Zorito and not be Zorito . . . unless you got maybe a tween brother?"
"No, I'm not twins," Lafayette said firmly. "At least," he started, "not unless you want to count certain characters like Lorenzo and Lothario O'Leary, and of course Lohengrin O'Leary, and Lafcadio and Lancelot—" he caught himself. "But I'm just obfuscating the issue. They don't really exist—at least not in this continuum."
"You sure talk a bunch of nonseense, Zorito," Gizelle said. "Hey—I know! Take off your clothes!"
"Er—do you think we have time?" Lafayette hedged. "I mean—"
"You got a leetle birthmark on your heep," Gizelle explained. "Let me see, queek!"
"Just a minute, somebody might come along and get the wrong idea!" Lafayette protested; but the girl had already grabbed his shirt,