Universe Twister - Keith Laumer [214]
"Yeah." The jailer nodded. As he thrust Lafayette into the tiny cell, from which a goaty odor wafted, O'Leary hardly noticed his hand brushing the other's side, his fingers nimbly plucking something away, palming it . . .
"That's why you was climbing the ivy, sure," Percy rambled on sardonically. "It's as good of a alibi as any, punk. I bet you never even glommed nothing."
"That's what you think!" Lafayette yelled, as the door slammed. He pressed his face against the bars set in the foot-square opening in the metal slab. "I'll make a deal: you deliver my message, and I'll tell you all about it!"
"Yeah?" Percy replied, somewhat doubtfully. "How do I know you ain't lying?"
"Even if I make it up, it'll be better than a comic book," Lafayette snapped.
"Nuts," Percy said loftily. "And anyway—the whole conversation is in lousy taste, considering."
"Considering what?"
"Considering the shape her Highness is in." The jailer's lower lip thrust out. "Ain't it a crying shame?"
"Ain't what—I mean isn't what a crying shame?"
"That the Princess is laying at death's door—down wit' a fever which nobody don't know how to cure it—that's what! And Count Alain and the Lady Daphne along wit' her!"
"Did you say—at death's door?" O'Leary choked.
"Right, Bub. They say all took sick at once—a fortnight since—and they ain't expected to recover. That's how come King Lafayette had to take over."
"K-King Lafayette?"
"Sure. And the first thing he done was to beef up the guard force, which I was one o' the first hired. Where you been, anyways?"
"But . . . but . . . but . . ."
"Yeah—so don't crack wise," Percy said with dignity. "So long, hotshot. See you in death Row."
5
Lafayette sat on the heap of damp straw that was the cell's only furnishing, numbly fingering the knobs on his skull.
"Things couldn't go this wrong," he mumbled. "I must be the one who's feverish. I'm delirious, imagining all this. Actually, I'm in bed, being tended by Daphne—"
He broke off. "Hey," he said thoughtfully. "Daphne can't be sick in bed—I saw her at Central, going through rookie training, yesterday!" He jumped up, banged on the bars until Percy appeared with a napkin tucked in his collar, wiping his chin.
"You said that Countess Daphne's been sick in bed for two weeks?"
"Yeah, that's right."
"And she hasn't recovered?"
"Nope. Nor likely to, poor kid."
"How do you know? Did you see her?"
"Now I know you're loopy, Rube. I'll get a squint at her Ladyship in bed right after I get my promotion to Buck Admiral."
"Who says she's sick?"
Percy spread his thick hands. "It's what they call common knowledge. King Lafayette kept it quiet for a couple days, but then he had to let the word out, on account of everybody was getting a little uptight on account of they didn't see the Princess around and about, like." Percy took out a bone toothpick and gouged at a back tooth.
"Have you seen this King Lafayette?" O'Leary asked.
"Sure; I seen him yesterday, reviewing the guard. The poor guy looked pretty bad off, and I guess it figgers, wit' that snazzy little piece Countess Daphne about to croak, an' all—"
"What did he look like?"
"You know—kind of a skinny long-legged kid wit' a bunch o' curly brown hair and sort o' sappy smile—only he wasn't smiling yesterday. Boy, what a temper!" Percy shook his head admiringly. "The boys tell me it's the first time he ever had anybody horsewhipped, too."
"He's horsewhipping people?"
"Sure. Well, the poor slob's got a lot on his mind, like. I guess that's why he kicked the cat—"
"He kicked a cat?"
"Uh-huh. Tried to, anyways. I always heard he was a good natured bozo, but I guess having your frail croak on you is enough to kind of give anybody a little edge on. That, and the war." Percy inspected his toothpick gravely.
"What war?"
"Geez, Bub, you're really out of it, ain't you? The war wit' the Vandals, natcherly."
"You mean—Artesia's