Universe Twister - Keith Laumer [228]
"I don't know how you know my name," she said in a voice with only the faintest quaver, "but if you take another step, I'll fire!"
"Daphne—it's me—Lafayette! Don't you know me?"
"What, you too? Does everybody think I'm so addled I don't know my own husband?"
Lafayette moistened his lips and took a deep breath. "Look, Daphne—try to understand. I don't look like myself, I know. I look like a Wayfarer named Zorro. But actually I'm me, you see?"
"I see you're out of your mind! Stand back!"
"Daphne—listen to me! I stepped out that night—Wednesday, I think it was, two weeks ago—to, er, drop down to the A & D—and this happened to me! It's all because of a thing called a Focal Referent. A fellow named Quelius is responsible. He paid the Red Bull to entice me down there, and—"
"Stop it! You're not Lafayette! He's tall, and handsome, in a baby-faced sort of way, and he has curly hair and the sweetest smile, especially when he's done something foolish—"
"Like this!" Lafayette smiled his most sheepish smile. "See?" he said between his teeth. Daphne yipped and jumped back.
"Not anything like that, you oily, leering monster!"
"Look, Zorro can't help it if he has close-set eyes!"
"Enough of this, varlet!" Alain roared. "Art daft, lout? Think you the Countess Daphne—and her Highness and myself as well—know not this turncoat O'Leary on sight?"
"He's not a turncoat!" Daphne cried, whirling on Alain. "He's just . . . just . . . sick . . . or something." She sniffled suddenly, and blinked back a tear.
"Look, we can't have a falling-out now over a little misunderstanding," Lafayette appealed. "Forget my identity; the important thing is that we stop Quelius—fast! He's got some sort of probability engine set up that will rotate Artesia right out of the Continuum! Once he does that, he's safe forever from outside interference from Central!"
"What do you know about Central?"
"Don't you remember? You saw me there, yesterday! You even helped me—"
"I saw another crazy man there who tried to convince me he was Lafayette O'Leary. I never saw you before in my life—or him, either!"
"Daphne—there were both me! I mean, I was both of them! I mean—oh, never mind. The point is—I'm on your side—and Adoranne's side. I just talked to Nicodaeus. He was the one who warned me about Lom—I mean Quelius!"
"Do you have any proof?"
"Well—nothing documentary—but Daphne—listen: close your eyes, and imagine I've got a bad cold, or got hit in the larynx by a polo ball, or something. Now . . . remember the night I met you? You were wearing nothing but soapsuds, remember? So I ordered up a nice dress for you to wear to the ball—a pink and silver one. And later that evening you saved my life for the first time by dropping the chamber pot on Count Alain's head! And—"
"Who told you all this!"
"Nobody! It's me, I remember it! Just pretend I'm . . . I'm enchanted or something, like the frog prince. Inside this unwashed exterior is the same old Lafayette who wooed you and won you!"
"There is something . . . it's almost as if . . ."
"Then you do recognize me?"
"No! But . . . but I suppose there's no harm in listening to what you have to say—even if you are crazy."
"Well, that's something . . ."
"We've heard enough madman's raving," Alain said. "The question remains—what to do? We know the false king plans some great coup for this evening: the rumors make that plain. We must make our move before then—or not at all. I say the time has come for me to fare forth, beat my way through the usurper's hirelings who guard us here, and slay their master as he takes his place in the banquet hall!"
"You'd never make it, Al," O'Leary said flatly. "Anyway, there's no need for a grandstand play. We can use the secret passages and pop up in the ballroom, surprise, surprise."
"If we can trust this intelligence of hidden ways . . ."
"Alain—he's our friend; I feel it. It almost seem I know him . . ." Adoranne looked searchingly at O'Leary.
He sighed. "Let's not get me started on that again," he said. "What time is this