Universe Twister - Keith Laumer [32]
"Your Highness! You cried out!"
Lafayette stood frozen, staring at a vision of bare-shouldered femininity sitting up in the huge bed, staring across at him in astonishment. The fat woman followed Adoranne's gaze, saw Lafayette, screeched, clapped a hand to her broad bosom and screeched again, louder.
"Shhh! It's only me!" Lafayette started forward, shushing the woman frantically; she yelled again and backed against the bed.
"Stay back, villain! Touch not one hair of her Highness's head—!"
"It's all a mistake." O'Leary indicated the wall through which he had entered. "Somebody came into my room and told me—"
There was a pounding of feet, a clash of steel. Two immense guardsmen in flaring helmets, polished breastplates and greaves thundered into the room, took one eye-popping look at Adoranne, who quickly pulled the pink silk sheet up to her chin.
"There!" screamed the fat lady-in-waiting, pointing with a plump finger. "A murderer! A ravisher! A thief in the night!"
"Let me explain how I happened to be here, fellows—" Lafayette broke off as the two men rushed him, pinned him against the wall with six-foot-long doubleheaded pikes at his chest. "It was all a mistake! I was in my room, asleep, and all of a sudden—"
"—you took it into your head to violate the boudoir of her Highness!" the fat woman finished for him. "Look at the great wretch, half-dressed, burning with unholy lust—"
"I was only—"
"Silence, dog," one of the pikemen grated between set teeth. "Who thinks to harm our princess begs for bloody vengeance!"
"Did he—did he—" The other guard was glaring at O'Leary with eyes like hot coals.
"The monster had no time to achieve his evil purpose," the chubby woman bleated. "I placed my own body between him and that of her Highness, offering it gladly if need be to save her Highness from this fiend!"
"Has he taken anything?"
"Oh, for heaven's sake," O'Leary protested. "I'm no thief!" He waved his arms. "I—" The bag, still clutched in his hand, slammed the wall. He stared at it dumbly.
"What's he got there?" One of the men seized the sack, opened it, peered inside. Over his shoulder, Lafayette caught of glimpse of Adoranne, an expression of mischievous interest on her perfect features.
"Your Highness!" The man stepped to the bed and upended the contents of the pouch on the rosebud adorned coverlet—a sparkling array of rings, necklaces, bracelets, glinting red, green, diamond-white in the candle light.
The fat woman gasped. "Your Highness' jewels!" Lafayette made a move, felt the pike dig into his chest hard enough to draw blood. "Somebody shoved that into my hands," he called. "I was in the dark, in the passage, and—"
"Enough, thief!" the pike wielder snarled. "Move along now, you! I need little excuse to spit your gizzard!"
"Look, Adoranne, I was trying to help! He told me—"
"Who? Have you an accomplice in your felony?" The guard jabbed again to emphasize the question.
"No! I mean there was a man—a medium-sized man in a cloak; he came into my room—"
"How came the rogue here?" the fat woman shrilled. "Did you great louts sleep at your posts of duty?"
"I came in through some kind of sliding panel," O'Leary turned to the princess. "It's right over there. It closed up behind me, and—"
Adoranne's chin went up; she gave him a look of haughty contempt and turned away.
"I thank you, Martha," she said coolly to the fat lady-in-waiting. "And you, gentlemen, for your vigilance in my defenses. Leave me now."
"But, your Highness—" the fat woman started.
"Leave me!"
"Adoranne, if you'd just—" A painful prod in the solar plexus doubled O'Leary over. The pikemen caught his arms and hauled him from the room.
"Wait!" he managed. "Listen!"
"Tomorrow you can tell it to the headsman," the guard growled. "Another word outta you and by the three tails o'Goop