Unseen Academicals - Terry Pratchett [181]
There was a busy little silence and Ridcully said, ‘How long do you think we should give him to get it under control?’
‘What size are the eggs?’
‘Eight or nine feet high, apparently,’ said Ridcully.
‘With calcium shells?’
‘Yes, quite thick, so I’m told.’
Ponder looked thoughtfully at the ceiling. ‘Hmm, that’s not too bad, then. If you’d said steel it would have been rather worrying. It sounds very much like a blit devolution, possibly caused by…lack of experience.’
‘I thought you taught Mister Turnipseed everything you know,’ said Ridcully, looking happier than Ponder had seen him in a very long time.
‘Well, sir, perhaps there was something he didn’t quite grasp. Are people at risk?’
‘The wizards have told everyone to stay indoors.’
‘Well, sir, I think if I got some of my equipment together we could leave about teatime.’
‘I’ll come, too, of course,’ said Ridcully. He looked at Ponder. ‘And—’
‘What?’ said Ponder. He looked at Ridcully’s grin. ‘Yes, it might be a good idea if one of the gentlemen from the Times came along to take pictures. They might be very good for instructional purposes.’
‘An extremely good plan, Mister Stibbons, and I think we should take the senior faculty as well. They will lend some much-needed…’ He snapped his fingers. ‘What’s the word?’
‘Confusion,’ said Ponder.
‘No, not that,’ said Ridcully.
‘Appetite?’ said Ponder. ‘Weight?’
‘Something like that…Ah, gravitas. Oh, yes, lots of gravitas. We aren’t the kind of fellows who run around chasing strange birds. I’ll see you after lunch. And now I have other matters to deal with.’
‘Yes, Archchancellor,’ said Ponder. ‘Oh, and, um…What about the proposed football match?’
‘Regrettably, it appears that it will have to wait until they have rebuilt the university.’
‘That’s a shame, Archchancellor,’ said Ponder.
He carried on with the calculation until the very last figures danced into place, made sure the Archchancellor had left, gave a very small smile, which you might not have noticed had you not expected it, and then pulled another ledger towards him.
It was another good day.
It is now!
About the Author
TERRY PRATCHETT’S novels have sold more than sixty-five million (give or take a few million) copies worldwide. In January 2009, Queen Elizabeth II made Pratchett a knight in recognition of his “services to literature.” Sir Terry lives in England with his wife.
www.terrypratchettbooks.com
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Also by Terry Pratchett
The Carpet People
The Dark Side of the Sun
Strata
The Bromeliad Trilogy:
Truckers • Diggers • Wings
Only You Can Save Mankind
Johnny and the Dead
Johnny and the Bomb
The Unadulterated Cat (with Gray Jolliffe)
Good Omens (with Neil Gaiman)
The Amazing Maurice and His Educated Rodents
The Wee Free Men
A Hat Full of Sky
Wintersmith
Nation
The Discworld™ Books
The Color of Magic
The Light Fantastic
Equal Rites
Mort
Sourcery
Wyrd Sisters
Pyramids
Guards! Guards!
Eric (with Josh Kirby)
Moving Pictures
Reaper Man
Witches Abroad
Small Gods
Lords and Ladies
Men at Arms
Soul Music
Interesting Times
Maskerade
Feet of Clay
Hogfather
Jingo
The Last Continent
Carpe Jugulum
The Fifth Elephant
The Truth
Thief of Time
Night Watch
Monstrous Regiment
Going Postal
Thud!
Where’s My Cow? (with Melvyn Grant)
Making Money
The Last Hero (with Paul Kidby)
The Art of Discworld (with Paul Kidby)
Mort: A Discworld Big Comic (with Graham Higgins)
The Streets of Ankh-Morpork (with Stephen Briggs)
The Discworld Companion (with Stephen Briggs)
The Discworld Mapp (with Stephen Briggs)
The Wit and Wisdom of Discworld (with Stephen Briggs)
The Discworld Graphic Novels:
The Color of Magic • The Light Fantastic
Credits
Jacket design and illustration by Scott McKowan
Copyright
This book is a work of fiction. The characters, incidents, and dialogue are drawn from