Until the Dawn's Light_ A Novel - Aharon Appelfeld [64]
When Adolf heard that Blanca had been dismissed, he seethed with rage and slapped her face. Blanca burst into tears. Her weeping inflamed his fury, and he heaped words on her: “Just not to work, just to sit in the house, just to feed your weakness.”
“I’ll keep working,” she said, trying to mollify him, but it didn’t work. He stamped his feet.
Blanca worked in the hospital now. On Sundays she would come home, hand her wages over to Adolf, and prepare refreshments for the guests. Her mother-in-law, who came to visit Otto, said, “Otto’s sick again. What will be with him? There’s something out of order in him. He’s sick all the time.”
Blanca looked her right in the eyes and said, “Dr. Nussbaum says he’ll be a sturdy young man.”
“Let’s hope so. But I can’t see it. Doctors always make promises and never keep them. By the way, Blanca, you should change your name. A name like yours is an obstacle.”
“Father Daniel already gave me a name.”
“When?”
“After the baptism.”
“So why don’t you use it?”
“It’s strange to change your given name.”
“What’s strange about it? If the name is harmful, you have to change it. In two or three years Otto will be going to school. Everyone will know right away that his mother’s name is Blanca. You don’t have to display your defects. By the way, what name did Father Daniel give you?”
“Hilda.”
“A nice old name. In the village where I was born, that was a common name.”
Otto was very weak and barely opened his eyes. Dr. Nussbaum came to see him several times a day. Blanca didn’t move from his bedside. Now she remembered her mother and said to Otto, “If you swallow the pill, you’ll feel a lot better. There’s nothing easier than swallowing a pill.” Those soft words rang in her ears with pure clarity.
Meanwhile, Celia returned from the mountains. Her face was round and transparent, and filled with wonder. Her simple nun’s habit made her look taller. She spoke softly and listened intently. Sometimes she asked a question.
“I’m bound in fetters, and I don’t have the strength to loosen them,” Blanca said to her.
“What do you mean, Blanca?”
“I’m living in a prison, and I stopped counting the days that I’ve been in captivity. Every day closes in on me more. I had a good friend in Blumenthal, but she went to the east. I would gladly have gone to the Carpathians, but I’m married and I have a child.”
Celia’s eyes widened, but she said nothing.
“I can tell you that ever since Grandma Carole died, I’ve felt a strong attraction for the Carpathians. Maybe the mountains will give my soul back to me. I feel that the soul within me has fled.”
“And you wouldn’t want to come with me to the mountains of Stillstein?”
“Churches don’t love me,” Blanca replied.
After parting from Celia, Blanca sat in the hospital corridor, and to her surprise she felt that a hint of strength still fluttered within her. She rose to her feet and approached Otto’s bed. His sleep was quiet now. That night he felt better, and the next day he opened his eyes.
48
ONLY NOW DID Blanca see how much the malady had changed Otto. He had grown taller. His face glowed, and the words in his mouth were clearer.
“The disease has passed,” Blanca told him, “and in a little while we’ll go home.”
“I want to be with you.”
“I’ll always be with you,” she said and kissed his forehead.
Otto knew more than she imagined. He knew, for example, that the job in Blumenthal had been exhausting and that Elsa had mistreated her, that Kirtzl wasn’t his aunt, that Grandma and Grandpa came every Sunday, drank cognac, and grumbled. He’d evidently taken in a lot during his few years. Blanca was astonished by the abundance of words he’d collected.
“I’m afraid of Kirtzl,” he told her.
“Why?”
“She walks around the house without any clothes on.”
“She’s apparently used to that.” Blanca tried to distract him.
Otto’s recovery breathed a new energy into Blanca. She was hungry and ate whatever was served, and at night she sat and talked with Christina. Her life, which had seemed as though