Until the Dawn's Light_ A Novel - Aharon Appelfeld [71]
“Mama, play dominoes with me.”
“Right away,” she said and knelt down.
They played on the floor, and Kirtzl didn’t interfere. Later Otto counted to twenty, added and subtracted, and amused himself with his fingers. Blanca pretended to make mistakes, and Otto corrected her.
Later she went back to the train station and took off with no destination in mind. The harvested summer fields sped by and lulled her into a deep sleep. Blanca slept without interruption, not waking until the last stop. Then she hurried away to rent a room in an inn. The small inns, quiet and clean, made her think of an inner life that belonged solely to herself, one that no stranger had a part in. Blanca sat in cafés for hours and drank cup after cup of coffee. Sometimes she also had a drink of brandy, but never very much. For a moment she saw herself in Vienna, already in the third year in the mathematics department. After lunch she would sit in a café and read from the works of Adalbert Stifter. Her mother and father wanted to surprise her and came to visit. They were proud of her achievements. In a little while she would publish an article of her own in the well-known magazine Papyrus. Her father kept saying, I knew. I always knew.
Thus she sat and daydreamed.
On Saturday Blanca returned home and told Adolf that she had found work in a small old age home near Himmelburg. Adolf, who had drunk a great deal but wasn’t intoxicated, immediately asked, “How much are they paying you?” Blanca had prepared a few banknotes. She put them on the table and said, “More than in Blumenthal.” Adolf beamed, as though he’d been offered tasty food.
Adolf sat in his seat and Blanca served him dinner. But then, in the middle of the meal, his expression changed. He told her that two Jews had recently bought the dairy and that they wanted to lengthen the workday. The workers had declared a strike, and they were planning to attack the owners. Adolf despised Jews in general, but this time he was able to articulate his animosity.
“We’ll eliminate them,” he said, his mind finally at rest.
After the meal Adolf went to join his friends at the tavern. Blanca sat with Otto and told him that soon they’d be taking a long trip. Otto asked for details, and Blanca soared off in her imagination. Then they played dominoes, and Otto won twice. For a long time he played by himself, too, had imaginary adventures, and murmured to himself. Finally he fell asleep on the floor.
Late that night Adolf returned drunk and angry and immediately started reviling the Jews, who were destroying the Austrian economy and filling their pockets with money. Blanca made an awkward movement and knocked over a china pot. That drove Adolf out of his senses. He slapped her face and called her a careless woman who broke things without consideration. Blanca, who had learned not to react, responded this time.
“What are you talking about?” she said.
Adolf grabbed her arm and shook her, shouting, “Who said, ‘What are you talking about?’ Who dared to say, ‘What are you talking about?’ ”
Blanca, in great pain and anger, shouted back, “Murderer! Leave me alone.” Then Adolf started kicking her, and his fury didn’t subside until he’d knocked her down.
That night Blanca didn’t sleep. The blows that Adolf had dealt her hurt and burned, but, to her surprise, she didn’t feel weakness. She felt that if she had to leave, she would, and she would even be able to carry a burden on her back. She went to see Otto, who was sleeping soundly. Then she went over to the window. The darkness was dense, and no light was visible anywhere. She thought of going outdoors and sitting on the front steps, but the thought vanished, and she did nothing.
When the first light appeared, the pain attacked her again. She rose from the sofa and dressed her wounds with bandages that Dr. Nussbaum had given her. Her arm was bleeding. She placed a thick cloth on it and tied it with a bandage. She was about to return to the sofa when she saw the ax blade flash. The ax stood in the corner next to the kitchen. Adolf used it to chop wood for heating.