Until the Dawn's Light_ A Novel - Aharon Appelfeld [76]
“You’ve come on vacation?” Mrs. Tauber asked cautiously.
“Yes, indeed. We need it, like one needs air to breathe.”
“During this time of year it’s very quiet here,” Mrs. Tauber said calmly.
“Thank you,” said Blanca.
“I haven’t done anything for you yet.” The woman spoke the way they did in the country.
That night Blanca slept without bad dreams. In her sleep she saw Otto, tall and thin like her uncle Otto, whom her mother had loved and loved to talk about. When Blanca awoke, it was already late. Otto was still sleeping, curled up next to her. They’re looking for me in railroad stations, she thought, but I’m here with Otto and no one will discover me because this place is out of the way and hidden. Now the room revealed itself to her: tall, narrow windows, two old-fashioned dressers, an armchair, and two wicker chairs. In the corner was a desk.
“We’re lazy. It’s nine o’clock,” she said as soon as Otto woke up.
“Where are we going?” he asked as if he were on a train.
“We’re not leaving. We’re here.”
“Is there a river?”
“I suppose so, but it’s autumn now, and the water is cold.”
“What will we do?”
“We’ll read and play and do a lot of other things.”
Mrs. Tauber greeted them with a “Good morning” and said, “Make yourselves at home. Here’s what I can offer you for breakfast. Everything is hot and fresh.”
They ate and drank. Otto was impressed by the polished copper pots on the stove, from which you could easily remove omelets and cheese dumplings dipped in strawberry jam. Blanca sipped the thick coffee, which seeped into her like a restorative potion.
She remembered what she had practiced with Otto, and drilled it into him again. “Otto is four and a quarter. Otto is big now. His name is Otto Guttmann, and in a little while he’ll go to kindergarten.”
Otto raised his eyes and stared at her as though he had caught his mother doing something foolish.
After breakfast Otto said, “Mama, let’s go out for a walk.” Blanca was somewhat apprehensive about the new place, but she overcame her misgivings and said, “We’ll go out right away and see what there is here.”
First they strolled down the main avenue and then they sat in a little café and ordered ice cream. There was a toy store near the café, and Blanca bought Otto a basket full of toys. Otto was pleased and expressed his joy by clapping his hands.
Then they sat in a public park, and Otto played. The park was clean, and Blanca knelt down and played with him.
“I have a lot of toys!” he cried out, confused because so many toys had suddenly come to him.
After a while Blanca said, “Today we’ll buy new clothes, too. It’s already autumn, and you have no warm clothing.”
“And boots, too?”
“Boots, too, like grown-ups wear.”
And so they did. By the afternoon, Otto was equipped for the winter. When they returned, Mrs. Tauber was pleased to see them and said, “You’ve come just in time. Lunch is ready.”
For lunch she served them borscht with sour cream and stuffed eggplant.
“We have no fish today,” she apologized.
“That’s all right,” said Blanca. “Otto will be going to kindergarten soon. I’m sure they have fish there.”
The landlady stared at her and said nothing.
After lunch, Otto busied himself with his new toys, and Blanca lay down on the bed and observed him. She felt that a part of her had been left behind in the enchanted cabin on the banks of the Dessel and that from now on she would have to live without some vital organs. My life has to contract, she said to herself, and the more it contracts, the better it will be. An old sadness, one that had gnawed at her years ago in high school, arose within her. In a short while these eyes of mine will see no more. This room and its modest furniture won’t remember that I was here and watched Otto play. And Otto, too, will be so immersed in his own life that he won’t remember these magical moments.
“Otto,” she blurted out.
“What, Mama?”
“You have to be strong.”
“I’m strong.”
“That’s exactly what I wanted to hear,” she said,