Unworthy - Kirsten Beyer [46]
“Give them time,” Chakotay advised. “It’s a lot to take in all at once.”
B’Elanna nodded. “I can do that.” After a moment she asked, “Why did you resign your commission?”
“Command took Voyager from me. They questioned my abilities and my judgment.”
“That doesn’t make any sense.”
Chakotay half-smiled in recollection. “Talk to Tom. It will make more sense. At any rate, they were going to get around to giving me a new assignment at some point, but I couldn’t wait for that. Seven needed me.”
“Really?” B’Elanna asked, surprised.
“Yes,” Chakotay said, nodding. “She’s been through a lot, particularly in the last few months. She’s more vulnerable now than I’ve ever known her to be.”
“Are you and she …?” B’Elanna trailed off.
It took Chakotay a moment to follow.
“Are she and I what?”
“A couple again?” B’Elanna replied dubiously.
Chakotay shook his head. “No,” he said, dismissing the notion out of hand. “We’re friends. Good friends. But anything more is completely out of the question.”
“Why?”
Chakotay shrugged. “I have some healing to do myself before I even entertain the idea of a new relationship. And that’s the last thing she needs right now. Seven and I didn’t work out the first time for good reasons. We don’t need to go down that road again just to end up in the same place.”
“Isn’t it hard for you though?” B’Elanna asked, leaning in closer and lowering her voice.
“What?”
“Being here? Being around all of this without being a part of it?”
“I could ask you the same thing,” he replied.
B’Elanna shook her head. “I just got here. And right now all I care about is making sure Miral gets better and settling in with Tom. We haven’t lived as husband and wife in years.”
Chakotay considered her appraisingly.
“Uh-huh.”
“What?”
“Nothing.”
“What?” she asked again, more insistently.
“I know you, B’Elanna Torres. You’re not going to be happy sitting idly by while everyone else around you is busy exploring the Delta quadrant.”
B’Elanna struggled to deny his words, despite the fact that she was already toying with the same conclusion.
“Are you?” she asked.
“I made my choice,” he said. “I’ll figure out how to live with it.”
“When you do, let me know,” B’Elanna replied.
CHAPTER TEN
Harry sat somberly before an untouched plate of grilled salmon. Right now, Tom and B’Elanna were hosting a private dinner in their quarters for Chakotay, Seven, Barclay, and the Doctor. Harry hadn’t felt bad begging off when Vorik had done the same. Miral had been released from sickbay near the end of his duty shift and Tom had been walking around with an annoying spring in his step since. Harry had already told B’Elanna how happy he was to see her, and he’d get around to checking in on Miral later. But he simply couldn’t pretend that everything was fine between him and Tom.
No matter how many ways he tried to look at the situation from Tom’s point of view, he couldn’t see himself making the same choices Tom had. Yes, B’Elanna had insisted. And given all she’d been through the first time she’d faced the Warriors of Gre’thor, Harry got that her fear had made her all but completely irrational on the subject.
Not that she was going to win any Most Rational awards even before those dark days.
And yes, a promise made between a husband and wife was important. Harry had to believe that Tom wanted to tell him the truth all along but between B’Elanna and Kahless, he’d been outnumbered and really forced into deception.
But then again …
This was the place where Harry’s reason hit a solid wall of confusion and anger. At the end of the day, no matter what B’Elanna or Kahless or anyone else might have insisted, had Harry been in Tom’s place he never would have been able to bring himself to lie to his best friend. He couldn’t have done it, knowing the depth of grief Harry would feel when he learned of their supposed deaths.
He had gone back and forth a hundred times since B’Elanna had asked him to join them all for dinner. Harry still hadn’t had