Up & Out - Ariella Papa [115]
“For as long as I can, I am going to avoid being in a position of managing other people to do things I don’t believe in, or working with people I can’t stand. Even if it means I never have an office or a show or money. Peace of mind is worth more than that.”
“Nice, Rebecca. I would love to hear how that works.”
“And I would love to keep being patronized.” The nice thing about not working for him is that I have the balls to say what I want in whatever way I want. “What’s your observation?”
“Well, why didn’t you fight your termination?”
“What do you mean?”
“You just accepted it in the HR office. You barely batted an eye.”
“What could I do? I was in Human Resources getting a severance package to sign. It seemed like the deal was done.”
“I think you never believed you could do it.”
“Do what?”
“I think all the while you kept expecting it to happen, expecting to get canned. Even before Delores. You felt, I don’t know, unworthy or something. You were always waiting for someone to wake you up from the dream. You thought you were lucky—not talented. That’s one thing, that lack of trust in yourself, maybe the only thing I’ll never regret about not being young. Confidence comes hard.”
I feel like I just got smacked in the head by a bunch of bricks. I can’t believe it. I think Hackett is right.
“One day, I suspect we’ll work together again in some capacity, and I hope, Rebecca, that you only have to grow up just a little.” He hands his credit card to the bartender.
“Thank you,” I say, grateful that I don’t work for him anymore so that he can say whatever he wants to me. “I mean it.”
“I know,” he says, and signs the receipt. He gets off the stool and squeezes my shoulder. “Thank you. Enjoy your dinner plans.”
I know where I can find a better dinner than the one in my freezer. I think it’s time I start ruling my destiny. I can wait for karma, but it might never catch up with me. I consider going jogging, but instead I take a risk and take the subway to Ben’s bar. Will, the bartender, waves to me and says I can go on back to the kitchen. When I push the swinging door open, he is bent over a pot of chili, stirring.
“Hey,” I say. He smiles when he looks up and then when he sees that it’s me, his smile grows wider.
“Hello there.” He looks me up and down and points out my purple toes. “I like your toes.”
“Thanks, I just did them myself. My severance ended. I can’t afford pedicures anymore.”
“What’s up?”
“I was hungry and I thought you could make something to eat when you’re finished working and then maybe if you still wanted to we could go up to your apartment and look for stars.”
“Okay,” he says, nodding and wiping his hands on his apron. “Does that mean you are going to give this a chance?”
“Yes,” I say. “I’m in.”
When it rains it pours. Don calls me after my meeting with Hackett. In his message, he is the usual slick Don that I am starting to like, and he says that he needs to “pick my brain” about some things.
We meet at Molyvos, a Greek restaurant in Midtown. I get there first and wait for him in a booth. He kisses me hello on both cheeks. He looks and smells good.
“How are you?”
“I’m fabulous. I got laid off.”
“Oh, no! Because of Jordan?”
“Partially, they think I could have done a better job casting. Honestly, it was too confusing for kids to get to know Gus and then try to relate to his cousin. Also, it seemed too much like Blues Clues. Meanwhile, that’s what they said they wanted. Anyway, the network’s pretty broken. I’ve already got five offers.”
“That’s great, Don. I wish I had your connections. Where are you going to go?”
“That’s the beauty of it. I’m not going anywhere. I’m taking this opportunity and using it to my advantage. I am following fate. I’m reading the signs.” Not the follow-your-bliss crap again. Please.
“What are you doing, joining the seminary?”
“I think Sarah would have a problem with that.” He winks at me, but keeps talking. “I’m starting my own production company.”
“That’s cool,” I say.
“I figure