Up & Out - Ariella Papa [31]
“So did you bring those documents I asked for?” I hand them to her. She rifles through them and shakes her head a little.
“Do you think you could get a cleaner copy of this calendar? It’s very hard to read.”
“Okay, the thing is, it gets updated every day.” She nods.
“I realize that. I think I would like you to set it up as an Excel file, so I could just look down the list and see when scripts are in, et cetera.”
“You want me to set up a whole other document.”
“Yes, and this…” She holds up the document Hackett created that we used as a template to work up story ideas about Esme. “I don’t understand it.”
“Actually, that’s something Hackett did.”
“Oh.” That apparently satisfies her, but I wonder if it is because Hackett was still in the company and pretty high up. “Well, I’ll take another look at it tonight. Do you think you can get me that calendar ASAP?”
“Yes, I’ll do it tonight.”
“Wonderful. I wanted to talk to you about Esme’s animation.”
“What about it?”
“I think it looks a little pedestrian.” I feel a knot rising in my throat. Does she realize that Esme is my baby, that I had initially animated her? Immediately, Delores’s itty-bitty hands go up and she starts making big apologetic circles. “I’m not saying I don’t like it.”
“You’re not?” I hear a little fake sarcastic laugh escape my lips. It isn’t a sound I usually make.
“Of course not. What I’m saying is that maybe it could be a bit more stylized.” We are making this for kids. I thought that was clear.
“Well, that’s the style.” I feel myself about to say something I never dreamed I would. Eccchhh! I feel dirty already. “They loved it in the focus groups.” Have my senses been impaired by saying something so foreign as “focus groups”?
“I’m sure they did, but maybe we should talk about doing our animation in Korea.”
“Wait a second, what?”
“I just think they might do a better job.”
“But what about Janice and John—and me, for that matter—when I can do a great job.”
“But it might be a wiser economic choice to do it in Korea.”
“We could bust the budget on FedEx.”
“It worked fabulously when I was at International.” I want to tell this dwarf that we aren’t doing commercials for international mutual funds, this is kids’ TV. She is obviously unfamiliar with kids’ television. “They do real sexy stuff.”
I get what Tommy used to call the douche chills, a shiver that comes from hearing something really gross. For him, the word douche. I never understood what he meant until this very minute. Why is she using the word sexy to talk about an animated show for girls? It is gross. I take another breath and decide to try another approach.
“I just think the Korean animators might have trouble with Esme’s voice.”
“We have voice-overs for that,” she says condescendingly.
“I’m not talking about audio.” I stop and swallow. My voice is getting too loud. “I mean they won’t get Esme.”
“Well, I’m not saying that we have to make these decisions now.” You’re not? “But you’ll want to think about being able to put together a good case for keeping the animation domestic.”
I will? Does she ever fully open her elfin mouth? I have no idea what to say.
“Okay,” I finally settle on. “I’ll get you that calendar.”
“Thanks. And have a wonderful night.”
And so as if I didn’t have enough to do, I created a worthless Excel document. Where the hell is the Black Forest, anyway? Is it in Middle Earth? I think about calling Tommy to vent and tell him I am working for a Hobbit. A mere mention of Lord of the Rings would be like talking dirty. Maybe he will take pity on me and give me some oral pleasure.
No, no. I must push these thoughts out of my head. I am never having sex again. Wait, maybe I could move in and molest him in his sleep. That would help me relax. No, fuck, I have to work on making a case for Janice and John to keep their jobs. Who the hell is this chick? I decide to procrastinate even more. I call Lauryn