Up & Out - Ariella Papa [50]
“It’s Explore! Family’s show. You developed it for us.” Us? Now she is an us. I hate her. She is practically frothing at the mouth. I get up.
“I’ll work on that bible.”
“You better. I need to see it ASAP.”
I almost salute her but I fear if I raise my hand it will slip across her cheek.
11
Four-Eyed Girl
I am sitting in my office with the door closed. I lock it now to avoid anyone busting in. My contacts are bothering me. My jaw is clenched. There is a knock at my door. I get up to answer it and realize I’m not wearing any clothes. I grab the pages of the production bible and try to cover myself.
When I open the door, Esme is standing there. She is very short; I have to look down at her. Her shoelaces are white and she isn’t wearing her glasses. She is no longer animated, and as a real girl she looks a lot like me.
“Hi,” I say. I am happy to see her. There are a lot of things I want to ask, but she is mad. She starts to yell.
“I can’t see anything. You made me not be able to see.” She keeps screaming at me and my jaw gets tighter and tighter.
Then I see Seamus and I realize I am in his room.
“Are you okay?” he asks. I’m sweating and wearing nothing beneath the T-shirt he gave me. I fell asleep without taking out my contacts.
“I had a bad dream,” I say.
“I see that. Are you okay?”
“I think so.” I’m a little embarrassed.
“I’ll get you some water.” When he leaves, I get up and go to the bathroom. I pull out my contacts and put them in little plastic cups.
He comes back in with the water. He looks pretty cute in his boxers with his hair messed up. Maybe having a bad dream will be another first for us as a couple. I drink some water.
“Let’s spoon,” he says, and he just cuddles me—no funny stuff. I fall asleep happy and thinking that maybe Seamus really is my boyfriend. It’s better than thinking about how much I disappointed Esme.
In the morning I think about asking for a drawer at his apartment. But when I ask if he wants to go to Nobu Next Door tonight, he tells me he is going to be busy for the next couple of evenings. Hmm. Is it possible that both work and my private life are equally messed up?
To top it off, my contacts have dried out in the cups and I don’t have my glasses with me. I squint through the day at work as we put the finishing touches on a few episodes. Esme still has glasses in these. Delores’s new regime will not begin until the next round. I have a sinking feeling every time I see Esme. She is so happy deducing things in her glasses. They are a part of her. Fuckers!
I think Janice, John and Jen are disappointed in me for losing this battle. Maybe I am a sucky manager. This whole thing is making me doubt every aspect of my life.
When I get home, Tommy is on the couch. He has just started watching one of his favorite movies from one of his favorite actors, Tom Hanks.
“Joe Versus the Volcano again, huh?” He wasn’t up when I left the apartment yesterday morning. I can’t tell if he knows that I haven’t been home in two days.
“Nice sweater,” he says. It is Seamus’s. Proof that he knows. We are not together anymore—only roommates. This is what I must keep reminding myself.
“Did you eat?” I try to sound friendly.
“Yeah.”
“Okay.” I order a small mushroom pizza and straticella soup from Don Giovanni. I watch a little of the movie as I wait for my food.
I am getting a lot of negative energy from Tommy, but I am too exhausted to get up and go to my room. I don’t think that I have ever watched this whole movie, despite Tommy’s insistence.
There are a number of movies that Tommy thought I must see, but a lot of times I just sort of humored him and read a book or a magazine while he watched his DVDs. In this one, Tom Hanks is in a dingy-looking office that makes rectal probes when he realizes he has a terminal disease called a brain cloud. He starts ranting that he has suffered all these indignities for $300 a week.
He keeps yelling about $300 a week and the next thing I know I am sobbing. I feel so exhausted and spent. I’m not sure