Up & Out - Ariella Papa [76]
I sit on my bed and wrap myself in a blanket. The party is tomorrow and stores will be closed. I don’t think I could stand to try on bathing suits in the dressing room light with a three-way mirror accentuating my every stretch mark. I long for the days of living with Lauryn. I would be able to vent and, if I recall, she had some really cute wraps.
I call Beth.
“Hey,” she says. “Are you going tomorrow?”
“Yeah, thanks.” I don’t know if she even wants me there or if I will ruin her too-cool image with my quasi-pregnant belly.
“What are you wearing?”
“I got a new bathing suit and summer dress. This is an upscale crowd.” Gee, thanks for the warning.
“Do you have any wraps?”
“What?”
“You know, sarongs—to wear over my bathing suit.” I need help. “I’m feeling a little bloated.”
“Too much tempura?” There is an actual joke to her tone. I appreciate it.
“Don’t I wish. No, I’m just a gluttonous, unemployed fattie.”
“I’ll see what I can do. I’ve got to go—it’s my other line. I’ll see you tomorrow. Jordan’s driving.”
“Jordan’s going?”
“Yeah, Tommy invited him. He’s got a car.”
“Since when?”
“Rebecca, I don’t know. I have to get my other line.” Her tone becomes testy.
“Okay, bye.”
Esme and I are holding hands. We are walking around a pool. She is bigger than she usually is, but still not a real girl. She is wearing one of Lauryn’s sarongs. I am wearing my bikini and my stomach hangs down to my thighs. This doesn’t really bother me. We are looking for something and it seems that no matter how much we walk the pool keeps getting bigger.
“What are we looking for?” I ask over and over. “Where is the panda?”
The panda is this sort of imaginary friend that Esme has that helps her solve things. I have a feeling we might be looking for him, so I ask her again.
“What are we looking for?” She stops and points into the pool. When she speaks, her voice sounds different.
“Your friends.”
I wake up, sweating. My clock says 6:32. I think about getting up, but I lie in bed until I fall asleep.
Jordan and Beth pick us up together in Jordan’s new SUV. They are both dressed like they stepped straight out of a Ralph Lauren ad. And they are both wearing expensive supermodel sunglasses. How did they get to be so tanned? Beth gets in the back with me, and Tommy, in the front seat, is really impressed with Jordan’s new toy. I wonder if Jordan will be able to keep this car when he gets replaced. Also, how will they explain that Gus is no longer there even though the show is called Gus and the Gopher? Why didn’t I ask Don that? And what happened with Don and Sarah, anyway?
Jordan is in a really good mood and I wonder if he has been helped in any way by controlled substances. Beth is being really quiet and stares out the window as we go through the Midtown Tunnel.
“Did I show you the coolest thing, man?”
“What?” Tommy asks. He seems to be catching Jordan’s enthusiasm. Jordan grabs a remote control and hands it to Tommy.
“It’s for the radio.” I lean up to the front seat.
“You mean to tell me that you have a remote control so you won’t have to reach over and press buttons,” I ask in disbelief.
“Yeah,” Jordan says, nodding. “Yeah.”
“Man, that’s awesome,” Tommy says.
“Can you believe them?” I ask Beth, who smiles weakly at me.
Jordan insists on leaving all the windows open and pumping some hip-hop all the way there. Beth gets Tommy to roll his window up in a nagging little sister way and that’s about all she says for the ride.
Jordan and Tommy are screaming things over the music and they miss the exit.
“I can’t fucking believe you, Jordan!” Beth yells, pushing herself up between the seats. Her outburst startles me. “You know this is important.”
“Just chill, Beth. I’ll turn around.” He lowers the volume on the stereo and glares at her in the rearview mirror. I’m surprised at the anger in Jordan’s voice and confused at the familiarity between him and Beth. I reach out and touch Beth’s shoulder. I can feel the bone. She ignores me.
“She’s so fucking moody,” Jordan says to Tommy before