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Up & Out - Ariella Papa [99]

By Root 532 0
” I was afraid of that.

“It sounds wonderful,” I say. I’m sure she knows I’m full of shit. “I’ll send you my reel and then when I get my pitch concepts together, I’ll get those to you.”

We hang up. I plan to dig up an old Esme shirt (with glasses) and send it to her. I’m sure I’ll never be able to come up with a script that is violent enough. But, I can try. (Although I’m not sure I want to.)

I decide to go for a run. It is my favorite form of stress relief these days. It’s a hot August day, though, and I am huffing and puffing by the time I get to Thirty-fourth. I don’t stay out that long.

After I shower I turn on some music and sit at the desk in my room. I’ve got to just brainstorm about possible pitches. What the hell else am I going to do? Of course, I get distracted and start imagining scenarios where I do develop another popular show and wind up back in an office waiting for the next time I get stuck with a shitty jealous manager.


It makes my head hurt. I want to check the Food Network. I want some rock shrimp tempura.


There is a dearth of cooking shows for kids. How cool would it be to have a cooking show where kids get their hands dirty and make things? I could pitch it to lifestyle channels and to kids’ networks. This is awesome! It could be kid-hosted by a girl. Would that be implying that only girls could cook? Maybe she could have boys on as guest hosts. Would that be implying that she is a slut?

She has to have braces just like Esme’s friend, Kim. I start getting carried away and before I know it an hour and a half has passed and I have filled up three pages with scribbles and show concepts.

Lauryn calls. She wants info on Jordan, which I don’t have, and to tell me that she is coming down tomorrow afternoon. She plans on seeing Jordan Saturday morning.

“Do you want me to come with you?”

“No, I think it’s best to go alone. It could get ugly.”

“Don’t let it.”

“I’ll try not to. But I would like you to make a good plan for Friday night. I wouldn’t mind a little rock shrimp tempura myself.” I love when I convert people.

“That sounds great. Maybe we can see if Kathy wants to come. I don’t think the delegation gets down until Saturday morning.”

“And Beth.”

“Right, Beth.” I’m not exactly sure how she feels about me. We haven’t talked since the hospital. I cowardly left Beth a message at her home number during the workday so as not to deal. None of this I feel like I can tell Lauryn.

“I would really like to see her. It’s been a while.”

“I know,” I say. Then I start to tell her about my ideas for the show just to get initial feedback. I don’t get very far before the door opens and I hear Tommy’s voice and an unrecognizable female voice. Okay, we’re friends, and friends don’t mind when you bring girls home, but we’re also exes and exes do. And I do. In the middle of the afternoon.

“Lauryn, I’ll call you back.”

I go out into our living room. There is a stranger here; a very young pretty stranger in a sweater set and pearls.

“Oh, hey, Rebecca, I didn’t know you were home.” I am unemployed, where else would I be?

“I am.” I look at the intruder. I will not be a typical ex. I will be kind. I extend my hand. “Rebecca.”

“Hi, I’m Nancy.” A nanny named Nancy. I can’t believe Tommy isn’t opposed to this for obvious reasons.

“Oh, sorry, I guess I should have done that,” Tommy says awkwardly. “We were just going to go to the movies. I came to change.”

“Oh, great.”

“You can come with us, if you want,” Nanny Nancy says. I think she really means it. She is remarkably unsweaty in the sweater set. I can’t believe I am in this position.

“Oh, actually, I’m doing some writing.” That’s right, I’m creative. So there.

“Oh, Tommy told me you were a writer.”

“Yes,” I say. “For television.”

That’s something Tommy watches and she doesn’t.

“I’m not a big fan of TV, of course, now that I have to watch with the twins. Tommy said he would give me a tape of your show. He said it was brilliant.” I can’t believe he said that. Okay, I can believe he said that—just not to her.

Tommy comes back in. His shirt is tucked in;

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