Vampire Mine - Kerrelyn Sparks [61]
His mouth twisted. “Unsoiled?”
She winced. “I was going to say focused.”
His eyes turned back to their normal smoky blue. “I’m a distraction.”
“No! You saved my life. I will always be grateful.”
“Is that what ye were doing? Showing gratitude? Next time, send me a card.”
“That’s not it! I was dangerously close to wanting sex!” She grimaced and covered her mouth, but the words had already come out.
He looked shocked for a few seconds, but then he scoffed. “A fate worse than death.”
She curled her hand into a fist, ready to jam it down her own throat if she said anything else embarrassingly honest. She’d always been able to share any thoughts she had with the Heavenly Host, but the rules in the human world were confusingly different. And the emotions involved were more powerful than she’d ever imagined. “I don’t think you understand.”
“I understand verra well.” His face turned cold and blank. “Ye need to stay pure and innocent. I doona resent that. ’Tis part of who ye are, and I doona wish to destroy yer chances of returning to heaven.”
She lowered her hand. “I do wish to retain my angelic nature.”
“Of course.” He bowed his head. “I apologize for molesting you.”
“You didn’t molest me!” She glared at him. “You are a good and noble man, and I will not have you speak ill of yourself.”
He snorted. “What do ye expect from me, Marielle? I know damned well I’m no’ good enough for you.”
She made a noise of sheer frustration. “You still don’t understand. I do want you, Connor. I am . . . shocked by how much I want you.”
His eyes widened. “Ye want me?”
“Yes! But if the two become one, then you would be a part of me. How would I ever be able to leave you?”
“Ye—ye would have trouble leaving me?”
“Of course, you dolt! I told you I care deeply for you. Words have meaning, you know.” She groaned inwardly. She’d done it again and said more than she should.
He continued to look stunned for a moment, then a twinkle lit up his eyes. “Did ye just call me a dolt?”
She winced.
“That wasna verra angelic of you.” He assumed a wounded expression. “Words have meaning, ye know.”
She narrowed her eyes. “Careful. I can still knock you down with a blast of air.”
A corner of his mouth tilted up. “Still wanting a peek under my kilt, lass?”
She couldn’t help but smile. “You’re incorrigible.”
“Aye. That’s why ye love me.” He winced. “I shouldna have said . . . ’tis merely an expression, I dinna mean to imply . . .” He ran a hand through his hair.
It was almost a relief. She wasn’t the only one saying more than she should. Still, the word love seemed to hang in the air between them. It was strange. She’d lived her entire existence surrounded by love. The Father was love, and she’d always basked in its glow. But now, it had become a fearful, awkward thing that neither she nor Connor could admit to.
“I will do everything in my power to help you get back to heaven,” he said quietly. “Ye have my word on that.”
“Thank you.”
“I should return you to the cabin.” He stepped toward her. “And then I need to drop by Romatech to give Angus a progress report.”
She held up a hand to stop him. “Before we go, can I ask you something? It’s . . . personal.”
He shifted his weight with a wary expression. “What is it?”
“I was wondering . . .” She took a deep breath. “Who is Darcy Newhart?”
He flinched. “What? How?” His eyes narrowed. “While I was pouring my heart out to you just now in a kiss, ye were playing the busybody, snooping around in my soul?”
She scowled at him. “I didn’t see anything then. I was too . . . overwhelmed.”
He arched a brow at her. “No’ overwhelmed enough. Ye were able to stop.”
“If I hadn’t stopped you, you would have kept going?”
“Aye.” He folded his arms across his chest. “A man doesna start something he canna finish.”
She recalled how hard his groin had felt. He really had been prepared to have intercourse with her. Heat rose to her cheeks.
“Then ye spied on me when I entered yer mind to see where to teleport?” he asked.
She shook her head. “It happened last night. It wasn’t