Villette (Barnes & Noble Classics) - Charlotte Bronte [120]
It was impossible to keep one’s attention long confined to these masterpieces, and so, by degrees, I veered round, and surveyed the gallery.
A perfect crowd of spectators was by this time gathered round the Lioness, from whose vicinage I had been banished; nearly half this crowd were ladies, but M. Paul afterwards told me, these were ‘des dames,’ and it was quite proper for them to contemplate what no ‘demoiselle’ ought to glance at. I assured him plainly I could not agree in this doctrine, and did not see the sense of it; whereupon, with his usual absolutism, he merely requested my silence, and also, in the same breath, denounced my mingled rashness and ignorance. A more despotic little man than M. Paul never filled a professor’s chair. I noticed, by the way, that he looked at the picture himself quite at his ease, and for a very long while: he did not, however, neglect to glance from time to time my way, in order, I suppose, to make sure that I was obeying orders, and not breaking bounds. By and by, he again accosted me.
‘Had I not been ill?’ he wished to know: ‘he understood I had.’
‘Yes, but I was now quite well.’
‘Where had I spent the vacation?’
‘Chiefly in the Rue Fossette; partly with Madame Bretton.’
‘He had heard that I was left alone in the Rue Fossette; was that so?’
‘Not quite alone: Marie Broc’ (the cretin) ‘was with me.’
He shrugged his shoulders; varied and contradictory expressions played rapidly over his countenance. Marie Broc was well known to M. Paul; he never gave a lesson in the third division (containing the least advanced pupils), that she did not occasion in him a sharp conflict between antagonistic impressions. Her personal appearance, her repulsive manners, her often unmanageable disposition, irritated his temper, and inspired him with strong antipathy; a feeling he was too apt to conceive when his taste was offended or his will thwarted. On the other hand, her misfortunes constituted a strong claim on his forbearance and compassion—such a claim as it was not in his nature to deny; hence resulted almost daily drawn battles between impatience and disgust on the one hand, pity and a sense of justice on the other; in which, to his credit be it said, it was very seldom that the former feelings prevailed: when they did, however, M. Paul showed a phase of character which had its terrors. His passions were strong, his aversions and attachments alike vivid; the force he exerted in holding both in check, by no means mitigated an observer’s sense of their vehemence. With such tendencies, it may well be supposed he often excited in ordinary minds fear and dislike; yet it was an error to fear him: nothing drove him so nearly frantic as the tremor of an apprehensive and distrustful spirit; nothing soothed him like confidence tempered with gentleness. To evince these sentiments, however, required a thorough comprehension of his nature; and his nature was of an order rarely comprehended.
‘How did you get on with Marie Broc?’ he asked, after some minutes’ silence.
‘Monsieur, I did my best; but it was terrible to be alone with her!’
‘You have, then, a weak heart! You lack courage; and, perhaps, charity. Yours are not the qualities which might constitute a Sister of Mercy.’
[He was a religious little man, in his way: the self-denying and self-sacrificing part of the Catholic religion commanded the homage of his soul.]
‘I don’t know, indeed: I took as good care of her as I could; but when her aunt came to fetch her away, it was a great relief.’
‘Ah! you are an egotist. There are women who have nursed hospitals-full of similar unfortunates. You could not do that?’
‘Could Monsieur do it himself?’
‘Women who are worthy the name ought infinitely to surpass our coarse, fallible, self-indulgent sex, in the power to perform such