Villette (Barnes & Noble Classics) - Charlotte Bronte [184]
‘I am provided with attendance.’
Which was true, as Ginevra and I were to be sent home in the carriage; and I passed him with the sliding obeisance with which he was wont to be saluted in classe by pupils crossing his estrade.
Having sought my shawl I returned to the vestibule. M. Emanuel stood there as if waiting. He observed that the night was fine.
‘Is it?’ I said, with a tone and manner whose consummate chariness and frostiness I could not but applaud. It was so seldom I could properly act out my own resolution to be reserved and cool where I had been grieved or hurt, that I felt almost proud of this one successful effort. That ‘Is it?’ sounded just like the manner of other people. I had heard hundreds of such little minced, docked, dry phrases, from the pursed-up coral lips of a score of self-possessed, self-sufficing misses and mesdemoiselles. That M. Paul would not stand any prolonged experience of this sort of dialogue I knew; but he certainly merited a sample of the curt and arid, I believe he thought so himself, for he took the dose quietly. He looked at my shawl and objected to its lightness. I decidedly told him it was as heavy as I wished. Receding aloof, and standing apart, I leaned on the banister of the stairs, folded my shawl about me, and fixed my eyes on a dreary religious painting darkening the wall.
Ginevra was long in coming: tedious seemed her loitering. M. Paul was still there, my ear expected from his lips an angry tone. He came nearer. ‘Now for another hiss!’ thought I: had not the action been too uncivil I could have stopped my ears with my fingers in terror of the thrill. Nothing happens as we expect: listen for a coo or a murmur; it is then you will hear a cry of prey or pain. Await a piercing shriek, an angry threat, and welcome an amicable greeting, a low kind whisper. M. Paul spoke gently:—
‘Friends,’ said he, ‘do not quarrel for a word. Tell me, was it I or ce grand fat d’Anglais’ (so he profanely denominated Dr. Bretton), ‘who made your eyes so humid, and your cheeks so hot as they are even now?’
‘I am not conscious of you, monsieur, or of any other having excited such emotion as you indicate,’ was my answer; and in giving it, I again surpassed my usual self, and achieved a neat, frosty falsehood.
‘But what did I say?’ he pursued, ‘tell me: I was angry: I have forgotten my words; what were they.’
‘Such as it is best to forget!’ said I, still quite calm and chill.
‘Then it was my words which wounded you? Consider them unsaid: permit my retractation; accord my pardon.’
‘I am not angry, monsieur.’
‘Then you are worse than angry—grieved. Forgive me, Miss Lucy.’
’M. Emanuel, I do forgive you.’
‘Let me hear you say, in the voice natural to you, and not in that alien tone, “Mon ami, je vous pardonne.” ’
He made me smile. Who could help smiling at his wistfulness, his simplicity, his earnestness?
‘Bon!’ he cried; ‘Voilà que le jour va poindre! Dites donc, mon ami.’fk
‘Monsieur Paul, je vous pardonne.’
‘I will have no monsieur: speak the other word, or I shall not believe you sincere: another effort—mon ami, or else in English, —my friend!’
Now, ‘my friend’ had rather another sound and significancy than ‘mon ami,’ it did not breathe the same sense of domestic nd intimate affection:‘‘mon ami’ I could not say to M. Paul; ‘my friend,’ I could, and did say without difficulty. This distinction existed not for him, however, and he was quite satisfied with the English phrase. He smiled. You should have seen him smile, reader; and you should have marked the difference between his countenance now, and that he wore half an hour ago. I cannot affirm that I had ever witnessed the smile of pleasure, or content, or kindness round M. Paul’s lips, or in his eyes before. The ironic, the sarcastic, the disdainful, the passionately exultant, I had hundreds of times seen him express by what he called a smile, but any illuminated sign of milder or warmer feeling struck me as wholly new in his visage. It changed it as from a mask to a face: the deep lines left his features; the very