Voyeur - Lacey Alexander [99]
“Monica’s mom and dad are together and seem happy.”
He leaned his head back, offering a wry grin. “The white sheep of the family.” But at least his humor seemed restored now.
“So I guess that’s why you’re a thirty-five-year-old bachelor,” she said, gently teasing but also serious.
“Probably so. And why I’ll be a forty-five year old bachelor, and eventually a fifty-five year old bachelor . . .” His voice trailed off into soft laughter, which she joined in, but part of her felt sad. She knew some people never married or found a lifemate and still lived satisfying lives, and if anyone was capable of that, she suspected it was Braden. Yet it still sounded lonely to her, especially when she thought of growing old.
“You must like being single a lot if you plan to stay that way forever,” she offered cautiously.
But he only shrugged in his easy-going, man-of-the-world way. “It’s what I’m used to, and it has a lot of perks. I don’t have to be responsible to anyone else. I don’t have to worry about the complexities of marriage and family. And I can sleep with whoever I want, whenever I want.” Seeming completely back to his normal self, he gave his head a rakish tilt as he peered into her eyes. “Think about it, snowflake—if I were the marrying kind, I’d already be married, and you and I never would have happened.”
A sobering thought that tightened Laura’s stomach.
“You wouldn’t know what it’s like to be fucked in the window where anyone can see you,” he went on, the timbre of his voice dropping to a sultry, seductive level. “You wouldn’t know what it’s like to be with two men at once. Hell, you still wouldn’t even have played with a vibrator.”
She let out her breath, a bit stunned. “God, you’re right.” It seemed unthinkable now, like the experiences of the past week had already woven themselves so deeply into her existence that it felt as if they’d been part of the fabric of her life for much longer. And she realized again that it had begun to seem normal, all the wild things they’d done—but only with Braden. She couldn’t imagine it feeling normal, or right, with anyone else.
As the unloading ramp came into sight and she lifted the tips of her skis, ready to whoosh down, it struck her that she must have had all these darker desires floating around somewhere inside her all along—and had simply never known it until Braden had helped her find them.
Standing to ski away from the lift, she couldn’t help regretting that the ride was over.
By the time Laura sat down to write late that afternoon, she found herself feeling a bit melancholy, yet also insightful—and for the first time, she allowed herself the freedom to be utterly pleased, maybe even thrilled, that Braden had opened up her deeper, darker, more adventurous sexual self.
If she’d suffered any lingering hopes that he would suddenly announce his unending love for her, however, their conversation earlier had squelched it. She had a gnawing suspicion that she had fallen in love with him, but she somehow knew now that she could handle parting ways with him like the adult she kept reminding herself she was. What they’d shared had been amazing, mind-boggling, and life-altering—but she understood fully after today that he wasn’t the type of man who got attached to women. And she harbored no delusions that a week of hot, naughty sex was going to change that.
And it was okay. Life would go on. She would be fine.
And so would Aunt Mimsey. And so would Riley. Riley’s current story was beginning to come to a close, and Laura felt as if Riley had learned as much about herself in this book as Laura had gleaned about her own personality while writing it.
As Laura typed, a colossal secret made its way onto the computer screen—something even she hadn’t known until she’d realized Edna was the criminal. Mimsey explained to Riley that many years earlier, when she was young, she and Edna had been friends—but then, in high school, Mimsey had aggressively stolen Edna’s boyfriend! Not only that,