Walking on Broken Glass - Christa Allan [106]
Carl picked up a striped cotton teddy bear perched on the desk and examined it during Dr. Nolan's reply. “Now about Fetal Alcohol Syndrome,” he said and returned the little bright bear to the desk.
Dr. Nolan explained Fetal Alcohol Syndrome, or FAS, is at the most severe end of an entire spectrum of disorders known as Fetal Affective Spectrum Disorders. “One out of 750 babies is born with FAS. Another 40,000 have some fetal alcohol effects at birth,” she said. “Sometimes there are effects going back to the first four to six weeks, the time when most women aren’t even aware they’re pregnant, like Leah.” She explained the effects ranged on one end to a low birth weight to FAS babies born with central nervous system disorders and a host of other complications.
“Can I guarantee that this baby has absolutely no effects? No. But I wouldn’t expect there to be from the history I’ve taken from Leah. And we’re going to turn that baby's life over to God.”
Carl's expression buckled on that one. “We’ve been down that road, Dr. Nolan, I …”
“I know about Alyssa. We’re trusting God with this baby, and this baby's road.”
Later, when Carl opened the car door for me, he said, “Did you say anything to Dr. Nolan about my parents when you first met her?”
“No. She didn’t even ask. Why?”
“Just curious.
Dr. Nolan was God's mouthpiece today. I knew Carl's parents were fond of referring to him as “their little accident.”
“You were right. I do like her, but next visit I’m calling her Whoopi Goldberg.”
“I think she’d get a kick out of that,” I laughed.
Thank you, God. Thank you.
Another Saturday walk with Molly, but my steps outpaced hers today. Something was wrong.
“I know I’ve been exercising more, but even on one of your slow days, you’re ten steps ahead of me. What's up?” I shifted down to her shopping mall speed.
“Devin and I decided to postpone in vitro.” She soccer-kicked a pine cone in her path. “It's the money. Our finances just can’t bear it anymore.”
Their finances can’t bear their wanting to bear a child. Interesting verb choice, especially for a diction discussion. Two things I couldn’t control—alcohol and teacher brain. Teacher Leah corrected errors on restaurant menus and berated television reporters who said, “Between you and I …” or “irregardless.” You can take the teacher out of the classroom, but you can’t take the teacher out of the teacher. Friend Leah understood Molly was learning lessons, gut-wrenching ones.
“But you two have spent weeks getting ready. Why now?”
“We calculated what we’ve spent and what we will be spending. It's tens of thousands of dollars. Our insurance doesn’t cover it. It's our savings, our retirement, the second mortgage on our house. We want to be able to afford the baby after it's born. Great parents we’d be. What do we say, ‘It's like this kid, we spent all our money trying to have you, and now that we have you, we can’t afford you’?”
“Maybe Carl and I could help. We could set up a baby in vitro fund. We can do that, really. Carl loves you and Devin. He’d want to do this too. I’m sure of it. Of course, I’d talk to him first, but God blessed us for a reason. Why can’t we use our money to help someone who needs it?” Wow, did I just look like my father because I so sounded like him.
Molly's eyes widened into the agitated look I felt the night I heard Dad and Carl's duet. She veered around a fallen tree branch and accelerated to her usual pace. I trotted to stay with her.
“No, Leah. Absolutely not. This is our decision. Thank you, really, but no.”
Four steps forward.
I’ve not missed one AA meeting since I left Brookforest. Rebecca and I have met every