We, the Drowned - Carsten Jensen [243]
He stared at the amber-colored tea, which he didn't like, nodding earnestly from time to time. Well, that would have to suffice as his contribution to the conversation. It was the best he could do. Suddenly he heard her laugh out loud.
"You're just sitting there, nodding. But you don't understand a word I'm saying."
He gave her an amazed look.
"Yes, I can speak Danish." She kept laughing with her big mouth. "My mother was Danish. But she died a long time ago." She said this in a casual tone, as if she didn't attribute much importance to it. She leaned toward him.
"Are you shy?" she asked.
"Of course not."
He suddenly felt defiant, and without his being aware of it, this dissolved his bashfulness. He was angry now. She'd made him feel like a little boy. On the ship he felt like a man, and he wanted his newly acquired dignity acknowledged here too. Besides, she spoke Danish. He was back on familiar territory. Miss Sophie simply needed to be treated like Marie.
"You know we talk about you on the Kristina," he said. "We don't know what you're doing. Some of us think you go to piano lessons. But one fellow says you have a boyfriend you visit every day on the rock."
Miss Sophie gave him a teasing look. "A boyfriend. Well, I might have. And what do you think?" Knud Erik didn't reply. Miss Sophie went on. "No, I don't have a boyfriend out on the rock. I have a dream place. Do you know what a dream place is?"
He shook his head.
"It's a place where you dream. There's a narrow sandy beach just beyond the harbor. That's where I sit and look out across the water. And then I dream. About passenger steamers, airplanes, and zeppelins, about big cities and streets filled with cars and shop fronts along every sidewalk, about movie theaters and restaurants." She reeled off this list without taking a breath, as if she was releasing longings saved up over a long time. "Do you have a dream?"
"Yes," Knud Erik said. "I dream of sailing south around Cape Horn."
"Cape Horn," Miss Sophie said, surprised, and then laughed. "Of course, you're a sailor. But why Cape Horn? It's cold, it's always windy, and ships sink there."
"That may be," Knud Erik said. "But you're not a real sailor unless you've sailed south around Cape Horn."
"Says who?"
"Everyone."
"Are you scared of drowning?" Miss Sophie asked.
Knud Erik hesitated for a moment. Could this odd girl with the face that was at once so strange and so pretty really make him tell her everything?
"Yes," he replied honestly. "I'm very scared of drowning."
"Have you ever come close?" Miss Sophie stared intensely at him from her deep, dark eyes: two lights beaming out of a mineshaft.
"Yes, once."
"How was it?"
He didn't feel like replying to this. "My best friend's just drowned. He went down with the Ane Marie, which was headed for here," he said instead.
She looked down, as if she needed some time to compose herself. When she met his eyes again, she smiled encouragingly. "You'll probably drown one day too."
She said this in a completely ordinary tone, as if she was announcing that dinner would be served shortly. It was a ridiculous thing to say. What did she mean? Did she think she could foresee the future? Again he felt her gaze on him. She was scrutinizing him as if exploring the effect of her words.
Knud Erik looked away. The trust between them was broken. His's grief at Vilhjelm's death overwhelmed him again and he flared up. "Are you putting a curse on me?"
"Have you ever visited a big city?" she asked, and he detected hesitation in her voice.
"I've been to Copenhagen."
"I don't believe that's exactly a big city. Don't you ever dream about London and Paris, about Shanghai and New York?"
Knud Erik shook his head. "I dream about Cape Horn," he said stubbornly.
"What a shame. In that case we can't elope together. I don't want to go to Cape Horn, it's cold and horrible. Ugh, how boring you are." She started laughing.