Welcome to the Monkey House - Kurt Vonnegut [54]
The radio next door went off.
The world lay still.
A purple emotion flooded Paul’s being. Childhood dropped away, and he hung, dizzy, on the brink of life, rich, violent, rewarding.
There was movement next door—slow, foot-dragging movement.
"So," said the woman.
"Charlotte—" said the man uneasily. "Honey—I swear."
" ’I love you,’ " she said bitterly, " ’let’s make up and start all over again.’ "
"Baby," said the man desperately, "it’s another Lemuel K. Harger. It’s got to be!"
"You want your wife back?" she said. "All right—I won’t get in her way. She can have you, Lemuel—you jewel beyond price, you."
"She must have called the station," said the man.
"She can have you, you philandering, two-timing, two-bit Lochinvar," she said. "But you won’t be in very good condition. "
"Charlotte—put down that gun," said the man. "Don’t do anything you’ll be sorry for."
"That’s all behind me, you worm," she said.
There were three shots.
Paul ran out into the hall, and bumped into the woman as she burst from the Harger apartment. She was a big, blonde woman, all soft and awry, like an unmade bed.
She and Paul screamed at the same time, and then she grabbed him as he started to run.
"You want candy?" she said wildly. "Bicycle?"
"No, thank you," said Paul shrilly. "Not at this time."
"You haven’t seen or heard a thing!" she said. "You know what happens to squealers?"
"Yes!" cried Paul.
She dug into her purse, and brought out a perfumed mulch of face tissues, bobbypins and cash. "Here!" she panted. "It’s yours! And there’s more where that came from, if you keep your mouth shut." She stuffed it into his trousers pocket.
She looked at him fiercely, then fled into the street.
Paul ran back into his apartment, jumped into bed, and pulled the covers up over his head. In the hot, dark cave of the bed, he cried because he and All-Night Sam had helped to kill a man.
A policeman came clumping into the house very soon, and he knocked on both apartment doors with his billyclub.
Numb, Paul crept out of the hot, dark cave, and answered the door. Just as he did, the door across the hall opened, and there stood Mr. Harger, haggard but whole.
"Yes, sir?" said Harger. He was a small, balding man, with a hairline mustache. "Can I help you?"
"The neighbors heard some shots," said the policeman.
"Really?" said Harger urbanely. He dampened his mustache with the tip of his little finger. "How bizarre. I heard nothing." He looked at Paul sharply. "Have you been playing with your father’s guns again, young man?"
"Oh, nossir!" said Paul, horrified.
"Where are your folks?" said the policeman to Paul.
"At the movies," said Paul.
"You’re all alone?" said the policeman.
"Yessir," said Paul. "It’s an adventure."
"I’m sorry I said that about the guns," said Harger. "I certainly would have heard any shots in this house. The walls are thin as paper, and I heard nothing."
Paul looked at him gratefully.
"And you didn’t hear any shots, either, kid?" said the policeman.
Before Paul could find an answer, there was a disturbance out on the street. A big, motherly woman was getting out of a taxi-cab and wailing at the top of her lungs. "Lem! Lem, baby."
She barged into the foyer, a suitcase bumping against her leg and tearing her stocking to shreds. She dropped the suitcase, and ran to Harger, throwing her arms around him.
"I got your message, darling," she said, "and I did just what All-Night Sam told me to do. I swallowed my self-respect, and here I am!"
"Rose, Rose, Rose—my little Rose," said Harger. "Don’t ever leave me again." They grappled with each other affectionately, and staggered into their apartment.
"Just look at this apartment!" said Mrs. Harger. "Men are just lost without women!" As she closed the door, Paul could see that she was awfully pleased with the mess.
"You sure you didn’t hear any shots?" said the policeman to Paul.
The ball of money in Paul’s pocket seemed to swell to the size of a watermelon.