What Alice Forgot - Liane Moriarty [173]
I don’t know if this is presumptuous of me, Jeremy, but I was wondering if you and your wife might be struggling with the problem of when is the right time to give up.
And if so, I want to say something that will make no sense.
We should have given up years ago. It’s so clear now. We should have “explored other options.” We should have adopted. We gave up years of our lives and we very nearly destroyed our marriage. Our happy ending could have and should have arrived so much sooner. And even though I adore the fact that Francesca has Ben’s eyes, I also see now that her biological connection to us is irrelevant. She is her own little person. She is Francesca. If we weren’t her “natural” parents, we would still have loved her just as much. I mean, for heaven’s sake, I named Francesca after her great-grandmother, who has no genetic connection to us at all and wasn’t even part of our lives until I was eight years old. I couldn’t love Frannie any more than I do.
So there’s that.
But now, to be completely honest, I have to contradict myself.
Because if your wife were to ask me if I would go through it all again, then this is how I would answer.
Yes. Absolutely. Of course I would. No question. I would go through it all again, every needle, every loss, every raging hormone, every heartbreaking second, to be here right now, with my beautiful daughter sleeping beside me.
PS. I’m enclosing a strange, rather ugly doll. It might just do the trick. Good luck, Jeremy. I think you’ll make a wonderful dad. However long it takes and whichever way you choose to get there.
Chapter 35
Frannie’s Letter to Phil
Hello again, Phil.
I’ve had this unfinished letter in my desk for months now.
My days are so full at the moment, I don’t seem to have time to write to you. (Or to your memory, or your ghost, or to myself, or to whoever it was I’ve been writing all these years!)
I’ve just returned home from seeing Madison compete in an oratory competition and I’m still on cloud nine.
SHE WON FIRST PLACE!
It was a competition against the best children from other primary schools, so it was quite a big deal. She gave an extremely informative and entertaining speech about world records. (Did you know that the world record for the most live rattlesnakes held in the mouth at the same time is . . . eight!)
We were all so nervous beforehand. Xavier was pale and perspiring, and Alice was snapping at everyone. When they announced Madison’s name, we went quite crazy. Olivia danced in the aisle. Roger leapt to his feet, knocking his elbow into some poor woman’s eye. (Somewhat embarrassing.) Barb burst into tears. I could hear Xavier telling the man next to him, “That’s my great-granddaughter you just heard. Gets all her talent from me!” He has appropriated my family in typical Xavier fashion. They don’t seem to mind.
Elisabeth and Ben were there with the baby. You know what I love? Secretly watching Barb when she’s secretly watching Elisabeth. The bliss on Elisabeth’s face every time she looks at her baby is mirrored on Barb’s face—and maybe it’s mirrored on mine, too.
(Sometimes Barb comes across as a bit of a silly thing, but there’s more to her than people think. That Roger knows he’s on to a good thing. And I’m not just saying that because she’s my daughter. A daughter I wouldn’t swap for the world.)
Of course, little Francesca gets prettier every day. Tom kept her amused by rattling Ben’s keys. He’s good with babies. He finds them scientifically interesting.
Alice and Dominick seemed quite happy together. Alice is so much more relaxed since her accident. She’s lost that tense, gaunt