What She Needs - Lacey Alexander [114]
“So,” she said, “how did you get into this line of work? And don’t tell me again that it’s just because you like sex.”
Her lover and guide cast a wolfish grin. “It is. That’s the truth. I came here the summer after graduation thinking it would be temporary, but I never got tired of it. It felt right to me to do this, long term.”
Hmm. His answer made her want to dig for more, just like when she’d been in his home, or last night, talking about his tattoo. Who was Brent Powers and what really made him tick? “How does your family feel about your job?” she asked, trying to make the question sound more casual than prying.
Yet his face changed instantly—becoming guarded, and he answered matter-of-factly, as if it were no big deal. “Well, that’s the one bad thing. My mother thinks I’m a gigolo, and I guess I kind of am. And my sister hasn’t let me see her kids since they were little. I have a nephew, Cody, who’s sixteen now, and my niece, Tiffany, just started her freshman year of high school. And it kinda sucks that my sister thought I wasn’t . . . any more than my job, that she thought I’d somehow corrupt them and not be a good uncle—but that was her choice, and that’s life.”
It took Jenna a second to catch her breath. It all made sense, she supposed, but she hadn’t imagined the ramifications—or the losses—a job like Brent’s might involve. “How long since you’ve seen them?”
When Brent sighed, she sensed him trying to decide how much emotion to show, how much of that mask of practicality to keep wearing. “Ten years now,” he said—and Jenna’s heart sank for him.
If he was still trying to hide his pain, it was leaking out through his eyes. “I ask my mother to send me pictures now and then, and even though she doesn’t like it, she sends them. I can’t believe how old they are and that I’ve missed out on most of their lives. Their dad took off after Tiff was born, so for a while, I was the closest thing they had to a father. I didn’t see them a lot—I was usually here working—but I flew home to Pittsburgh for a few weeks here and there and spent a lot of time with them when they were little.
“My mom and sister didn’t know then what I did for a living,” he went on, and Jenna could scarcely believe he was confiding so much. “My dad knew, though, and he didn’t like it—but he thought I’d outgrow it.”
“What did your mom and sister think you were doing?”
“They only knew I was working at a resort. They thought I was waiting tables, which I was, but they didn’t know about the rest. A couple of years after my dad died, though, my mom pinned me down and asked when I was gonna put my degree to use. I’d just decided to further my studies, specializing in sex, so I figured the time had come to tell her the truth and hope she understood. She didn’t. And neither did Kim, my sister, and that was that. Now I send the kids gifts at Christmas, but I’m sure they barely remember me and wonder why I’m not around anymore.”
Whoa. Jenna had never even imagined Brent sounding so . . . vulnerable. His voice stayed strong, sure—but she could feel his pain anyway. It was a side of him she’d never seen. “Is it worth it?” she asked quietly. “To lose your family—for this?” Her tone implied the Hotel Erotique was nothing worth sacrificing for, but she didn’t care.
“I must think it is,” he told her simply.
“Yet you sound so sad about it.”
He met her gaze squarely. “You can’t let anybody, not even your family, choose your life. And I know what I’ve chosen is controversial, so if they want to cut me out, I figure that’s their right. I don’t like it, but I respect it.”
She supposed he made a good point. Whereas she’d let her family’s negative views of sex color her perception of it, Brent had ultimately stood up and done what he believed was right for him. “Well,” she said softly, “I’m still sorry it has to hurt you.”
He tilted his head, gave her another insightful look.