What She Needs - Lacey Alexander [72]
Jenna took a deep breath, let it back out. “As usual, everything you’re saying is true. And as things went on, I understood . . . about submission and obedience—I really did want what you wanted, no matter what it was. But at this moment, now that I’m no longer desperate to come, it’s all freaking me out a little. Even if I do know all these things I didn’t know this morning, I’m not sure . . . it’s me.”
He stepped up between her still-spread legs and rested his hands on her thighs, the move more comforting than sexual. “It doesn’t have to be you. It’s you tonight. It’s you for the coming week. It’s a hurdle you’re jumping, and on the other side you’re going to find yourself a lot more at ease in and in control of your normal sex life—whatever you choose to make it.”
She sighed and leaned her head back on the table. “It’s hard to imagine my sex life ever feeling normal again.”
When she met his gaze, he cast a small grin. “It will, sunshine—and all this will just seem like a dream, the dream you had to have to get where you needed to go.”
Then something hit her—something she hadn’t thought about before, and it felt important. “What if . . . what if I meet a guy and he’s the one? But . . . well, what if he’s a lot more like me than like you—what if it would change his opinion of me to know the things I did here?”
“Then maybe he needs to come here, too,” Brent replied with raised eyebrows, his look half teasing, half sincere.
She propped up on her elbows. “Not everyone who doesn’t indulge in kinky sex with multiple partners needs help, Brent.”
To her surprise, he actually appeared contrite—an expression she’d never seen on him before. “Fair enough, and very true. So . . . maybe when you find this Mr. Right, you just don’t tell him.”
“Then there’s a huge secret standing between us.”
“Not one he needs to know if it’ll fuck up your relationship. What you’re doing here has nothing to do with any future guy you’re going to meet and it’s no reflection on who you are as a person, Jenna. It’s just about making you enjoy the sex you choose to have to the fullest. In fact, Mr. Right should be glad you came here, because I guarantee it’ll make his sex life a lot better, too.”
Brent suddenly found himself trying to envision Jenna’s future Mr. Right—probably some Ivy League academic type, somebody who wouldn’t be nearly what she needed in a man. Maybe there was a reason no guy she’d ever dated had gotten her very excited about sex—she probably picked boring guys.
So he added, “Do me a favor. Don’t pick a boring guy.”
She grinned. “And exactly what kind of guy should I pick?”
He shrugged, then teased her. “Somebody more like me.”
She tilted her head, arched a brow. “Not likely. You have sex for a living.”
“Again, fair enough. So . . . somebody like me but who doesn’t have sex for a living.”
She flashed an expression he couldn’t quite read. “I’m afraid I’ve never met anybody quite like you before.” And he wondered how she meant that but didn’t ask. Maybe he didn’t really want to know. Maybe, after tonight, she was starting to think he was a pretty awful guy.
Not that he knew why he cared.
But he did need to retain her trust in him—now more than ever.
“You were fucking amazing tonight, Jenna,” he felt the need to tell her.
She looked surprised. “I . . . didn’t feel amazing. I felt like . . . a plebe. Ignorant, out of place. Silly.”
He lowered his chin in doubt. “You didn’t look too silly when you were excited and coming. You were