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What would Keith Richards do_ - Jessica Pallington West [0]

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What Would

KEITH

RICHARDS

do?

What Would

KEITH

RICHARDS

do?

DAILY AFFIRMATIONS

FROM

A ROCK 'N' ROLL SURVIVOR

JESSICA PALLINGTON WEST

Copyright © 2009 by Jessica Pallington West

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced in any manner whatsoever without written permission from the publisher except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles or reviews. For information address Bloomsbury

USA, 175 Fifth Avenue, New York, NY 10010.

Published by Bloomsbury USA, New York

Keith’s mum’s shepherd’s pie recipe reproduced by permission from Wendy Diamond, A Musical Feast: Recipes from over 100 of the World’s Most Famous Musical Artists, (New York: Global Liasons, Incorporated, 1995), 83.

All papers used by Bloomsbury USA are natural, recyclable products made from wood grown in well-managed forests. The manufacturing processes conform to the environmental regulations of the country of origin.

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

Richards, Keith, 1943–

What would Keith Richards do?: daily affirmations from a rock and roll survivor/ [collected by] Jessica Pallington West.—1st U.S. ed.

p. cm.

Includes bibliographical references.

eISBN: 978-1-60819-108-6

1. Richards, Keith, 1943—Quotations. I. West, Jessica Pallington. II. Title.

ML420. R515A25, 2009

782. 42166092—dc22

2008048220

First U.S. edition 2009

1 3 5 7 9 10 8 6 4 2

Design by Lauren Monchik

Typeset by Hewer Text UK Ltd, Edinburgh

Printed in the United States of America by Quebecor World Fairfield

By the same author

Lipstick

For the two Keiths

“I’ll see

my name in

bookshops,

and I’ll

think, ‘What

am I doing

here?’ … It’s

like knowing

everybody.”

— KEITH RICHARDS: IN HIS OWN WORDS, 1992

“If Keith

Richards

didn’t exist,

Rock ’n’ Roll

would have

to invent him.”

— CHATELAINE MAGAZINE


TABLE OF CONTENTS


INTRODUCTION

CHAPTER ONE:

KEITHISM: THE TWENTY-SIX TEN

COMMANDMENTS OF KEITH RICHARDS

Or: How Keith Richards Can Save Your Life

CHAPTER TWO:

WHAT WOULD KEITH DO?

Living Life the Keith Richards Way

CHAPTER THREE:

KEITH AND NIETZSCHE

Or: The Philosophy of Keith as Viewed in Relation

to the Great Philosophers

CHAPTER FOUR:

PROPHETWEAR: URBAN GURU

FASHION & STYLE

Or: When You’re Consubstantial, the Clothes Make

the God and the Man

CHAPTER FIVE:

THE WIT AND WISDOM

OF KEITH RICHARDS

The Daily Affirmations

CHAPTER SIX:

EVERYTHING YOU ALWAYS

(MAYBE) WANTED TO KNOW

ABOUT KEITH RICHARDS BUT

WERE (MAYBE) AFRAID TO ASK

THE KEITH TIMELINE

A Chronology of Trouble

IN CLOSING:

A RECIPE FOR SHEPHERD’S PIE

ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

REFERENCES

INTRODUCTION

Somehow he’s managed to survive.

But it hasn’t been easy:

Beaten up every day coming home from school. A move to the wrong side of town. A little addiction to heroin. Arrested. Arrested again. Court. Court again. Accused of being Satan’s right-hand man. A night in jail. A broken finger. Three broken ribs. A broken nose. A punctured lung. A crashed car. Another crashed car. Brain surgery. Cold turkey. Cold turkey again. Attacked by a fan. Electrocuted on stage, saved by a pair of Hush Puppies. Knocked unconscious by ,flying garbage. Disowned by father. Turned in to police by a company insider. Bilked out of millions by a sleazy manager. The loss of a child. The loss of a friend. The loss of another friend. Blamed for a friend’s death. Framed. Stoned. Did I mention getting arrested? Another crashed car. The house is broken into by cops. The house is broken into by vandals. The house goes up in flames. The other house goes up in flames. Hauled into court. Acquitted, there’s a celebration party at a hotel, and the hotel room is accidentally set on fire. The bed goes up in flames. A hit song is unwittingly stolen from another artist. The recording studio goes up in flames. The evil twin misbehaves. The evil twin gets knighted.

What does all this add up to?

Keith Richards.

And this is only a fraction of the story, just a snip off the timeline of trouble.

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