What Would Satan Do_ - Anthony Miller [108]
Lola fidgeted with a cell and then tilted it toward Raju to show him. The photo showed what looked like a blurry hand holding a blurry flower. Behind it, a few feet away in the frame, was a blurry gray cat.
“Not a particularly good photo,” said Lola. “But still.” She smiled the affectionate smile of a pet owner who doesn’t yet have kids.
Raju peered over her shoulder at the photo. “I don’t see the cat.”
“He’s right there, to the side of the flower.”
“Oh, okay. Holy shit, dude, how fucking small is your cat?”
Lola looked at the photo, then at Raju, and then at the photo again. “No, it’s—” She glanced at the stupid expression on Raju’s face, and snapped both her mouth and the phone shut.
“I think,” said Raju, “that your chakras might be kind of fucked up, but I might need to get a closer look at your root chakra to be sure.”
Lola smiled a sexy, disarming smile at Raju as she leaned over the counter, like she had something to tell him.
“Raju...?” she said.
He smiled at her, dumbass that he was.
She grabbed his whole ear with her left hand, yanking his head down and forcing him to lean over. Then she grabbed his arm and twisted it up, behind his back, and dragged him out from behind the counter.
“Uncle!” he said. “Uncle, uncle you witch!!”
She ignored this and walked Raju over to a wall. As they walked toward the wall, Lola did not slow down. Instead, she sped up, apparently on a collision course.
Raju’s head hit the wall with a nasty thud.
“Ow!” he said. “What the shit?”
But Lola wasn’t done. She tweaked Raju’s arm and dragged him backward from the door.
“Ready?” she said.
“Uncle! Damnit you crazy witch! I said ‘Uncle!’ Did you not hear me? You must release me already! Uncle! Uncle! Uncle!” Lola, however, was apparently unfamiliar with the unwritten rules of Uncle. The thieving whore.
“I know that ‘root chakra’ means ‘vagina,’” she gave his arm an extra little bit of torque.
Liam came out of the back room with a black backpack on one shoulder. Lola let Raju go, a slightly guilty expression on her face. Raju sprang out of her arms, propelled, presumably, by the force of his arm springing back to a less improbable position. He rolled his neck and shook his arms out, like a boxer approaching the fighting ring, and then moved to stand behind Liam.
“Witch,” he said.
“Get your hands off me,” said Liam.
“Okay,” said Raju. “Oh, Festus called. Said he’s over at some church. And there’s military vehicles and guys with gas masks.”
Liam and Lola exchanged glances. They spoke in unison. “What?”
“Festus – that was Festus on the phone when you came in.”
“You talked to him?” said Lola.
“Well, yeah, you know? He called. I answered the phone. We talked. Pretty normal stuff, really.”
“When?” asked Liam.
“Just now.”
“That’s who you were talking to just now?” asked Lola.
“What did he say?” asked Liam, he swung his backpack up and set it on the counter with a clunk.
“Vell…”
“Enough with the accent, already.”
Raju cleared his throat. “Well,” he said, “I think he was kind of excited. He said, ‘Hello’, and then—”
“Where is he?” asked Liam.
“Oh, holy shit! That’s a gun! Why do you have a gun? What else do you keep in that backpack?” Raju reached for the front flap and tried to peer inside. Liam slapped his hand.
“Focus, Raju.” The gun made clicky gun noises as Liam held it up and checked it. He put it back in his bag and slung it over his shoulder. “Where did Festus say he was?”
“At a church. Or some kind of stadium. It was a little bit confusing.”
Liam and Lola exchanged glances. “The TV preacher,” said Lola.
“What’s his name?” asked Liam. “Camdon?”
“Got me.”
“Okay. That’s where I’m headed.”
“Liam, wait,” said Lola. “We need to call Boehner and let him—”
“You do that,” said Liam. And he left.
Chapter 41. What Would Festus Do?
Festus had made his call – hadn’t got Liam of course, but he had tried. And that was the best he could do. Now, he was on his own. Alone. In this giant friggin’ church filled