What Would Satan Do_ - Anthony Miller [120]
“Come on,” said Liam, shoving the last naked guy between him and Lola out of the way. Lola nodded and reached for his hand. They threaded their way out of the crowd, with Raju following a few steps behind.
“Mistress, no!” Three of the men threw themselves at Lola’s feet, grabbing her ankles to prevent her from disabling any more of their brethren.
The men began to chant. “Whore of Babylon! Whore of Babylon!”
Lola raised her eyebrows at Liam.
Liam pulled out his gun, and held it up in the air, pointing it straight up as if to suggest that, if they didn’t let go, he might shoot the hell out of the sky, or maybe kill a cloud. “Okay, guys,” he said. “It’s time for the Whore – uh, her – to go.”
The men called Liam’s bluff, swarming him and smacking the gun out of his hand. They moved quick for naked guys, which is to say that they moved without the awkwardness that might encumber more self-conscious naked people. Liam fell backward, and only avoided smacking his head on concrete because there were fleshy, uncovered bits in the way.
One of the naked men grabbed the gun, and stood over Liam. He pointed the weapon at Liam’s head, took a deep breath, and pulled the trigger. There was a pop, and then everything got very quiet.
Chapter 46. Blasted Bits and Way Too Many Ralphs
“Liam!” screamed Lola. She tried to claw her way through the throng. “Liam!”
“It’s okay, Mistress,” said the man who’d pulled the trigger. “It’s okay.”
“No! Fuck you! It’s not okay.” She grabbed a hunk of his hair and yanked his head down while bringing her knee up. There was a disgusting cracking sound, and the man collapsed, holding his face. The gun clattered to the ground.
Raju picked it up, and then glanced around as he were looking for something. He hesitated for a second, and then shot one of the guys in the crotch. The man’s nethers exploded into a fine mist that sprayed all over his companions. That – being coated in blood and bits and pieces of the guy’s bits and pieces – and the sound of the panicked, frantic screaming and wailing coming from the shot guy seemed to break the spell over the amorous, nude guys. It was also very disgusting. One of the soldiers vomited. Then Raju urped up a bit of whatever he’d had for lunch. That set off a chain reaction of gagging and full-blown vomiting all around, which only compounded the disgustingness of the situation.
“Liam!” said Lola. She shoved past naked guys, many of whom were still engaged in post-Ralphing coughing, sputtering, and gasping for air, and made her way toward where she’d seen Liam fall.
“What’s up?” asked Liam. He shoved aside the naked guy who lay on top of him and stood, looking a little dazed, but completely free of bullet holes in his cranium.
“Oh my God!” She threw her arms around him. “You’re okay? How did—? I don’t understand. He shot you! I saw it!”
“Holy shit, dude!” said Raju. “That was magical!”
Festus just stared, open-mouthed, and shook his head. “How—?”
Liam let go of Lola, and turned to his Messianic friend. “I don’t know. I saw the bullet. I actually saw it. But … I’m okay,” he said. “I’m fine.”
Festus hugged him. And then Raju joined in.
“Enough,” said Liam. Raju let go, but then decided he wanted more, and embraced his boss again. “Raju, please stop. We need to get out of here.”
They exited the throng and picked their way around military trucks, trying to keep away from the clumps of soldiers. The naked guys suddenly all seemed to be a little more concerned with their nakedness than with dealing with their Mistress and her friends, so Lola, Liam, and the two losers were quickly able to put a few meters between themselves and the horde.
“Man,” said Festus, “that was harsh. You shot that guy. In the – in the dong!”
“Dude, wasn’t that amazing?” asked Raju.
“Um, no,” said Festus. “It was the most fucked up thing I’ve ever seen.”
“No, dude. It was cool.”
“You fucking shot that guy,” said Festus. “And dude!” He flung his arms out to his sides and turned to look back