What Would Satan Do_ - Anthony Miller [133]
“Hmm …” said Satan. Cadmon had a point. The ground was still shaking, and there was no telling what the hell kind of craziness was going on outside the stadium. “Maybe I should try killing you?”
“No, no,” said Cadmon, holding up his hands. “That won’t be necessary.”
“Let’s give it a shot anyway.”
“No!” said Cadmon.
“Oh, yeah. It’ll be fun. Ready?”
“No!” said Cadmon.
“Oh, come on now,” said Satan. “Be a sport.”
Cadmon started to say, “No,” again, but stopped when Satan held up a finger. He held it there for a moment, and then gave it a tiny wiggle. Cadmon’s eyes appeared to be locked on the Satanic finger. Satan flicked his wrist, and the preacher flew backwards. He smacked into the wall and exploded, splattering nasty, bloody preacher bits all over the two soldiers, the wall, and Raju’s shoes.
Most of the folks there in the passageway who had to witness Cadmon’s demise found themselves completely unable to speak. It was just too disgusting.
“Dude!” said Raju. “My shoes.”
Liam regarded the Prince of Darkness with a mixture of disgust and disbelief. “Was that really necessary?” asked Liam.
“Wait,” said Lola. Liam glanced at her. “That doesn’t matter,” she said. “What I want to know is,” she gave the Devil a wry look, “did you just save the world?”
“You totally did,” said Raju.
Satan looked sheepish, inasmuch as it is possible for a giant, beautiful guy with wings to look sheepish. “Well …” He shrugged and let a tiny smile escape the side of his mouth.
“That doesn’t make any sense,” said Lola.
Satan quit looking sheepish. “What do you mean? Of course it makes sense. Do I need to splat you against the wall?”
“Wait a minute,” she said, ignoring the threat. “If you’re the Devil, aren’t you supposed to want the end of the world?”
“You could think of it that way, I guess. But I prefer not to. ‘Supposed’ is, after all, such a strange word – so full of unwarranted connotations and expectations.”
“Why don’t you want the end of the world?” she asked.
Satan spun to face her. He seemed to grow and take on a vaguely minatory aspect. She, on the other hand, seemed to shrink a little, and took a small step backward. “It’s very simple, dear. If the world is going to end, I want to win. And if I can’t win – and I can’t, because He designed this whole universe thingy that way,” he waved dismissively at the whole universe thingy, “then I don’t want it to end. See?”
“No, not really,” she said.
“Have you read the Book of Revelation?” asked Satan.
“No, I haven’t,” said Lola.
“I have,” said Festus.
Satan did kind of a bobble-head, smirk thing and threw up his hands, like, Yeah, he knows what I’m talking about. “See?”
“Um … okay,” said Lola, clearly not seeing.
“It tells the story of how the world is supposed to end,” said Festus. “It doesn’t turn out well for Mr. … uh … Lucifer, here.”
“Is that what you want?” asked Satan. He put his hands on his hips, and gave her a no-nonsense smirk far more befitting of a matronly African-American lady than the Prince of Darkness.
“No,” said Lola, “I suppose not.”
“Okay, then,” said Satan. “Me either.” He nodded, glad to have that over with.
“Alright,” said Lola.
They all looked at one another for a bit.
“But why is the ground still shaking?” asked Lola. “Isn’t that related somehow?”
“It’s not,” said Festus. He turned his head to the side, like a dog listening for something. “Oh, wait. It is.”
“Yes, dude,” said Raju. “Definitely still shaking.”
“It seems to me,” said Lola, “that if you really had saved the world, the building wouldn’t still be shaking. I mean, isn’t that related to … to all of this stuff?”
Satan gave her a look. “Nobody likes a smartass.”
“She’s right,” said Raju. “It’s so not stopping.”
“But that angel is gone. And Cadmon’s gone,” said Festus. “Maybe the angel was telling the truth. Maybe it really is too late.”
“No,” said Satan. “I don’t think so.”
They all stood there for a moment, mulling it over, while the rumbling of the building got louder and louder. A crack appeared in the wall, and wound its way down toward the floor.