When Broken Glass Floats_ Growing Up Under the Khmer Rouge - Chanrithy Him [132]
Than recites the Cambodian alphabet, then he tells Map to say it after him. After a few times, Than has Map repeat it on his own. Map looks bored, uninterested. Map tells Than that he wants to go out and play. Than says he has to study Cambodian and scolds Map to repeat after him. Map mumbles what Than said. Than asks him to recite the alphabet on his own. Map can only remember a few letters. That makes Than mad, so Than hits him on the shoulder.
Map cries. Than raises his hand to hit Map again. Map cringes. Map looks at me for help, but I don’t want to say anything because Than is eighteen, older than I am. He wouldn’t listen to me because I never thought of teaching Map and he has.
Sobbing, Map repeats after Than again. Than tells him to recite the alphabet on his own. Map says a few characters, then he stops, his eyes braced for more slaps. Than hits him on his shoulder, then says, “Why can’t you remember? It’s not that hard. You’re stupid.” Than glares at Map.
“He’s not stupid!” I tell Than. My voice comes out louder than I intended. “He’s just starting to learn, and you want him to know everything. What kind of a teacher are you?”
“Don’t tell me what to do,” Than snaps at me. “I want to teach him. If nobody teaches him, how is he going to learn?”
“You’re not teaching him, you’re torturing him.” I’m amazed at how the words fly out of my mouth.
Ry appears at the top of the stairs, and I don’t hesitate to tell her what has transpired. I tell her what I think of Than, of the way he teaches Map and disciplines him. Map gets up and walks over to Ry. Than glares at me. He says that I am good at criticizing but don’t help to teach Map. For a moment I don’t know what to say because it’s true that I haven’t taught Map anything.
Then I remember what the Cambodian elders used to say, “A good teacher has to have patience in order to teach students.” From watching Than I know he doesn’t have patience, and he is not a good teacher. Instead, he is an overbearing brother. Appalled by what Than has done, Ry, twenty, tells Than not to worry about Map now. He’s only seven, she says. Since then Than has not taught Map.
Than is angry that I raised my voice to him. But how could I not raise my voice when he treats Map that way? Than expects me to act like a proper Cambodian girl. But I can no longer look the other way if I feel someone is being hurt.
The following evening, lying on my back with the medical manual sitting on my chest, I can’t stop chuckling. I’m so tickled and embarrassed at the same time. My stomach begins to hurt. My cheeks are getting tired. Tears spill out of my eyes.
“What are you laughing about?” Ry asks, grinning.
“Oh, nothing.” I say, laughing.
“If it’s nothing, why are you still laughing?”
I chuckle harder, shaking my head. Ry stands close to me, smiling, demanding to know. Finally I say, “Okay!” I tell her that I’ve been studying medical terminologies for my job at Phase I. She looks at me as if to say, What is so funny about that? I tell her that studying and memorizing the terms are not funny, but that I’m tickled because I’ll be embarrassed when I have to translate for men and women who have medical problems that relate to their reproductive systems, their private parts. “How am I going to translate for older patients if I’m so embarrassed to say these terms? I’m young, Ry,” I plead. I recite the terms that will be hard for me to translate. Ry laughs. She says perhaps over time, I’ll be less embarrassed. But I tell her that I’ll be mortified as I translate these words.
She smiles comically and says, “Well, you’re the one who wanted to volunteer in the medical field.”
“I know! I’ll just have to be professional