When Ghosts Speak - Mary Ann Winkowski [49]
5
FUNERALS
Expect to Attend Your Own
MOST PEOPLE expect wakes, viewings, and funerals to be somber events. They know that these are times to offer, or receive, support from a community of family and friends who gather to remember the dead person and hold up the emotions of the living. For most societies, this ritual way of saying good-bye to a loved one is a chance to bring closure and a sense of peace to those who are still living.
My view of funerals and funeral homes is certainly different from that of most people. When I go to a funeral home, I’m expecting an interesting, sometimes wild, occasionally uncomfortable conversation with a ghost. The fact is: You can expect to attend your own calling hours and funeral. Remember that although the white Light is with a spirit from the moment it leaves the body, it will remain with that spirit for a few days after a memorial service. And it’s rare that I’ve been called to a funeral home to find that the ghost wasn’t also there. The one exception to this is when children die. I have never seen kids younger than three or four at their wake or funeral.
What Ghosts Do at Their Own Wakes or Funerals
When I walk into a viewing, I know what to expect. Although there have a been a few times when I’ve been memorably surprised—even shocked—for the most part, the behavior of the ghosts is very similar. As mourners approach the casket at the front of the room, they can see that the body of the deceased is laid out with the head to the left and the feet to the right. I see the casket and body as well, but I also see the ghost of the dead person standing at the foot of the casket. Of course, this makes perfect sense to me. In this position, ghosts are able to hear all the comments as the mourners pass by the casket. They can see how their hair looks, inspect the makeup job, and check out their outfit. Women, in particular, can be extremely critical about these three things.
Spirits also cruise around the room. They may listen in on conversations and admire the bouquets—while noting who they’re from. Male ghosts like to glance out the windows, if they can, to count how many cars are lined up at the curb for the procession to the funeral service or cemetery.
Even when bodies have been cremated, spirits will still attend their memorial service. In this case, they usually stand to the left of the speakers. What I have noticed over the years is that as long as the family is following the deceased person’s wishes about how the viewing, service, or burial should proceed, the ghost is content and will cross over into the Light—usually at the cemetery or right after the memorial service. It’s harder on both the spirit and the family when someone’s last wishes are not known. I’ve gotten as many calls from daughters who are distraught over what their mothers would have wanted to wear for the viewing as I have complaints from irate spirits who can’t believe that the last outfit their friends will see them in is the hideous one their family has chosen!
In all my years attending funeral homes, I am still amused by how surprised the ghosts are when they learn that I can see them. At one funeral I went to, the deceased was an impeccably turned-out silver-haired gentleman. His ghost looked so poised and elegant as he drifted around the room, admiring the flowers. His daughters had called me to the funeral because they had been unable to find his will or last instructions and were concerned by that lack of preparation and foresight—so unlike their meticulous father.
I slowly worked my way through the crowded room until I was alongside the distinguished gentleman. For a moment, I just stood next to him as he admired a particularly elaborate floral arrangement.
“Beautiful, aren’t they?” I asked him.
He whipped his head around, startled. “You can see me?”
At first I thought it was kind of funny to see such an imposing