When Ghosts Speak - Mary Ann Winkowski [51]
In other cases, when I know that the viewing is going to be crowded or traumatic—for instance, if a young person has been tragically killed—I agree to attend the wake, but I just slip into the funeral home as discreetly as possible and catch the spirit’s attention. I can then ask the questions that the family wants answers to and meet later with the family members to pass these along. This is not the most satisfactory method, however, because even having the answers to a few questions can open up more unknowns. But in some cases it’s the best I can do.
I think most people invite me to funerals because they really want to find out if the deceased has hidden money or jewelry or forgotten to tell them about something valuable. But the truth is, hardly anyone dies with millions stashed away under the floorboards. Others just decide to take their secrets to the grave with them.
Still, with as many funeral homes as I have gone to, you might think that I’ve seen it all. But I gave up that assumption years ago. Even though I’ve seen—and heard—a lot, I have no doubt that there are plenty of surprising situations I haven’t yet encountered.
The Most Common Questions from the Living and the Most Common Complaints from the Dead
Despite the occasional shocking story from a wake or funeral, the people who invite me to a funeral home to talk with a departed relative fall mainly into a few basic categories. Oddly enough, the spirits I end up talking to at their funerals often have similar agendas also. And once a ghost discovers that I can pass on comments to those present, I usually hear the same litany of complaints and the same words of comfort.
Is There “Something” We Should Know About?
One of the most common funeral calls I get is from the person who wants to know if is there “anything” the deceased wants the family to know. (Translation: Where has Grandma stashed the silver and how can we get our hands on it?) Sometimes there really is money or jewelry tucked under the floorboards that the family was meant to have, and I can leave the funeral home knowing that family and ghost have exchanged important information. Other times, it’s disappointing to see how upset the living can become when they realize that there is no “reward” for them once the funeral is over. Frankly, this type of greedy behavior can leave the spirit I am talking to pretty upset as well.
Nevertheless, there are times when people just have a sense that the deceased was troubled or there was unfinished business when they died. In these cases, the relatives who have called me usually find their instincts were correct. But that doesn’t always mean that what they find out is what they were hoping for.
One woman, with her husband’s permission, called me to her father-in-law’s wake. There were three sons: a lawyer, a doctor, and an officer in the army. The youngest son, the attorney, had been the caretaker for his father during the man’s last (and very difficult) years. His father had suffered a stroke, and the younger son, while a dutiful caretaker, was also resentful that his father’s will evenly divided a substantial estate among the three brothers. He honestly thought that he was entitled to a larger share since he and his wife had let the father move into their home and had interviewed and hired a full-time caretaker.
Even though the father’s speech was affected by the stroke, he was able to communicate with his son and others by writing or via computer. In any case, it happened that the father and the son he was living with had a huge fight. The other two sons sided with their father—which was probably easier, since he didn’t live with them. Not long after that the father passed away.
The attorney’s wife had called me because, despite her father-in-law’s demanding nature, she had been fond of the man. And despite his speech impairment, she could sometimes understand what he was trying to get across. She knew that his nurse-companion, Daniel, could also understand the man’s limited speech. And when she talked