Where Mercy Is Shown, Mercy Is Given - Duane Dog Chapman [108]
I must have drifted off, as my mind began playing back the story of my life, like it was an old-time silent movie. I couldn’t hear any sound, but I could vividly see all that I held dear, with so much clarity that it felt real. The first person I saw was my mother, who was looking down at me from heaven, her eyes filled with light as she smiled with pride for the decent man I had become.
Barbara Katie was there too. The first thing I noticed was that she wasn’t wearing her glasses. My God, she looked so radiant and beautiful. She said, “Daddy, my eyesight is perfect now. I no longer need to wear my glasses.” I could feel tears welling up and a giant lump growing in my throat because I was so glad to see her again. She was genuinely happy and finally at peace. I realized I could now rest easy, knowing she was safe because she was now in God’s hands.
Unexpectedly, Jerry Lee Oliver, the man I was convicted of murdering, appeared too. He looked exactly the same as the last day I saw him in Pampa, young and full of life. I was a bit startled as he turned to me and said, “I know you weren’t the triggerman. But you did your time and I want you to know that I forgive you. Now I am asking you to forgive yourself, Dog.” Those were the words I’ve spent the past thirty-five years waiting to hear. Even if it was only my dream, I felt a sense of relief and a strange feeling of freedom from Jerry’s acknowledgment.
Seeing Jerry Lee brought back thoughts of Boss Ironhorn, Warden Curly Horton, and all of the other guys I knew from back in Huntsville, who inspired me to go out and make something of my life. I smiled as I thought back on those eighteen months I spent behind bars. Nothing in my life could have prepared me for my future better than my time in Huntsville. It taught me how to survive, endure, and thrive in the face of hardship, challenge, and adversity and—most important—to face those things with courage and integrity. Without those eighteen months in prison, I am not sure I would have found my way to living on the right side of the law.
The movie in my mind began to speed up as visions of my twelve children and all of their children filled my heart with the greatest joy I have ever known. Even though I have a little anger toward some of my ex-wives, I can’t help but feel completely grateful for the children we share.
I could feel the boat gently rocking in the calm lake. The splash of a jumping fish coming out of the water startled me and woke me up. My eyes shot wide open. I had to focus for a moment, but then I noticed a bald eagle perched on the branch of a tree that hung about twenty feet above the water. I quietly pointed the eagle out to Beth and the kids. We all sat quiet and motionless as we took in the unforgettable, once-in-a-lifetime moment. I slowly got up and reached for our bucket of fish. I grabbed the biggest trout I could put my hand on without making any abrupt moves and then tossed it into the water. I never took my eyes off the eagle. I wanted him to know it was safe—that we wouldn’t hurt him.
The eagle took flight, majestic and proud. He soared through the sky, circling above our heads until suddenly he dove headfirst toward the lake.
Swoosh!
He grabbed the fish in his talons and, in a single motion, took off toward the west and into the sun. We were mesmerized by his grace and beauty, yet touched by the trust and faith he and we gave to one another.
Bonnie Jo has a natural instinct when it comes to her love of nature and animals. “Throw another fish into the lake, Dad. Maybe you can get him to come back for more!” she squealed with delight.
Even though I tossed another fish into the water, I knew he was not coming back.
In Native American culture, the eagle is a symbol of power and perfection. It is also a witness, a sign, that everything is as it should be. In an instant, I felt as if I had no more secrets and that my life was finally on the right path. In that second, I felt as if mercy had ultimately been shown.
The thing about moments like this is that you can’t relive them because