Where Mercy Is Shown, Mercy Is Given - Duane Dog Chapman [91]
Some of the people who came to the event were looking for a helping hand themselves, while many others were there to plead for their children’s well-being. They were all looking to me to wave some magic wand and make their pain disappear. I wish it were that easy, but it’s not. Lord knows, I’ve seen it happen in my life over and over again. I’ve never been one for tough love, but I’m not a roll-over-me type of guy, either. There’s always a solution—the trick is finding the right one for you.
I always tell people that God will give you answers to all of life’s problems and worries. Here’s the thing—He won’t always give you answers that you will like. Sometimes the solution appears worse than the problem, like jail, illness, and such. If a couple of months behind bars is what it takes to get clean, then ultimately, that’s the right solution. I don’t want to help someone after they’ve been brought to their knees unless that’s the only time I get the chance to. I’d rather help people fix themselves before they bottom out. I know how hard that is firsthand from my own experience getting off drugs.
Mothers, fathers, brothers, sisters, boyfriends, and girlfriends all want to know, “What would you do, Dog?”
I’m always brutally honest when I answer that question, because these people are seeking life-saving advice, so I’d better be right in what I have to say. I tell them to go to the police and report the user. Get him into rehab. Sit your kid down and talk to him. Sit there and tell him you were also once a teenager. Tell him about your own experiences with drinking or drugs. If you raised hell when you were a kid, you can count on your child being the same way. There’s no shame in youth. Experimentation is natural.
However, if there is a predisposition to addiction in your family, it is your obligation as a parent to help prevent your child from suffering with the disease she inherited from you. Today, more than ever, kids have access to information through the Internet where they can make dangerous drugs out of common household items and over-the-counter drugs that are easily accessible. They live with twice the amount of peer pressure I grew up with, which means they have to be twice as strong, twice as educated, and twice as secure with who they are to stay on the right side of the law.
If you struggle with addiction, chances are pretty good that your kids will too. If you got help, they’ll need it, too. If you’re still struggling, get help together. There’s no gray area when it comes to getting sober. You can’t be a little bit of an addict.
My grandpa used to say I was the greatest dreamer he ever met. He’d say, “Watch your fantasies because you’re the kind of guy that can make those dreams come true.” To this day I think of myself as a dreamer and totally believe that is one of my greatest gifts. I tell people all the time that I started off as an ugly caterpillar, but through a miraculous metamorphosis, I turned into a beautiful butterfly. If I can change my life with a seventh-grade education, as a convicted felon and a former drug user—anyone can.
I spoke to the crowd at the Recovery Project event the same way as I am writing these words to you. My message comes from the deepest part of my heart and soul because despite everything I know as a parent, all of the positive messages I tried to instill in my own kids, and all of the life experiences I’ve had over the years, one of my children is still so very lost.
I shared something very