Whispers in the Dark - Maya Banks [14]
She was quiet for a moment.
Tell me, he said fiercely.
What do you want me to say, Nathan? Yes, I take the pain and the marks or wounds, but it isn’t permanent. They don’t last as long as yours will. They often begin to fade within a few hours.
Son of a bitch. I don’t want you to do it anymore.
It’s my choice.
Why? Why, goddamn it? You don’t know me. I could be a complete asshole. Why would you do something like that for me at such a risk to yourself?
Because you need me.
Because he needed her. It was an explanation he couldn’t even wrap his mind around. It was so simple and yet baffling. Did anyone ever just do for someone because they needed it? It wasn’t like she was helping a hungry child, or giving money to a homeless person. She was taking on unimaginable pain. Because she didn’t think he could bear it any longer.
You were so close to giving up. I was in your mind, Nathan. I knew what you were thinking. What you were feeling. It broke my heart. I couldn’t not help you.
Shame slid through his chest. Guilt that he’d been so weak to even briefly contemplate giving up. Because of that weakness she’d taken far more than she ever should have. And yet, could he have survived if she hadn’t?
He knew the answer. It ate at him that he was so dependent on this faceless woman, just a whisper in the dark. Now that the connection had been made, he’d go insane if it was broken.
There’s no shame in needing someone, she offered softly.
He considered her words for a moment. No, I don’t suppose there is.
You just have to hold on until your brothers come for you. I know how you see them, that you have absolute faith in them. Hold on to that and you’ll be home soon.
You’re a fucking miracle, Shea. I don’t know what the hell I would have done if you hadn’t spoken to me when you did.
You would have endured.
You have more faith in me than I have.
I see who you are, Nathan. The heart of you. You can’t hide that from me. A weaker person would have already given up. You didn’t.
Her words filled him with determination. Her faith humbled him. It made him want to be the man she saw, the one she believed him to be.
You’re going to escape. I’ll be with you the whole way. We just have to wait for the right time. We can do this.
Maybe it was the way she said it with such conviction. Or maybe it was that she said we in every instance. Like they were a team. It was a promise never to leave him and it heartened him in a way he hadn’t been able to do for himself since his captivity.
Whether she was real or imagined, he thanked God for her. His own personal angel in hell.
SHEA left the comfort of Nathan’s arms when the link became too much to maintain. Her body still quivered with lingering pain, but the marks on her skin were gone.
She stumbled into the shower and ran the water as hot as she could bear it and stood under the spray, her forehead resting against the cool tile of the stall.
What the hell was she doing? She couldn’t afford to weaken herself as she had done with Nathan. Just maintaining the link for so long was taxing enough, but the pain took it out of her when she had nothing to spare.
What if she were found again? Would she even have the strength to run?
But she’d made him a promise and she wouldn’t break it. She couldn’t bear the thought of him not making it back home to his family.
The only solution for her was to keep moving. Preemptive run. If she kept constantly on the move, then she would lessen the risk of her being caught at her most vulnerable.
She almost reached out to Grace. She bit her lip to prevent herself from saying her sister’s name. Her heart grew heavy until the ache crawled up her throat and into her jaw.
“I miss you,” she whispered.
Maybe it was why she’d reached out to Nathan. His desolation matched her own. They were both lonely and desperate. Perhaps she saw in Nathan someone whose situation was worse than her own and she’d been unable to turn her back even if it was what she should have done.
When she was through with her shower, she dressed and picked up the bag she hadn