Whispers in the Dark - Maya Banks [85]
He had no idea how the hell he was going to work this out, but the one thing he knew was that he absolutely could not imagine a life—his life—without Shea. She’d become as essential as breathing to him.
He didn’t question it. Didn’t argue. Some things just were. And this was one of them. The biggest thing of his entire life.
“I know that look,” Ethan murmured.
Nathan swiveled around to see that Ethan had come up behind him while Donovan had taken Shea to the side to finish cleaning the suture area.
“It’s the way Sam looks at Sophie. The way Garrett looks at Sarah. The way I’m sure I look at Rachel every time she walks into the room. You have the look of a man who is only sure of one thing. That the woman he’s looking at is his, that she’s the most essential part of himself.”
Nathan eyed Ethan warily. “Since when have you gotten so in touch with your feelings?”
Hell, it was one thing to think this kind of shit, but who stood around discussing it with his brother? Nathan’s discomfort level had just skyrocketed. Yeah, he was done for when it came to Shea, but he didn’t want to discuss her with anyone else. Not yet. It was still too new. He wanted to keep every part of her to himself. He didn’t want to share her and damn sure not his feelings about her with anyone.
Ethan smiled faintly. “It’s amazing how losing the one person who matters most in the world will change your perspective in a lot of ways. Getting Rachel back—getting that miracle second chance with her—makes me aware of a lot of things I would have ignored in the past or considered myself too manly to talk about. I’ll give you shit with the best of them, but I also see the way you look at her. I like her, Nathan. She’s tough. But more than that, she gave you back to us. I’ll always love her for that no matter what.”
“Fuck you for trying to make me cry,” Nathan muttered.
Ethan chuckled but then his expression turned serious again. “You know what? You’re starting to sound like the old Nathan. I guess I have her to thank for that too. Goddamn it, you’re my brother and I didn’t think I’d ever see you again, and then when I did, I wondered if we’d really ever have you back even though you were here and alive. You were a damn shell and I’m so fucking relieved to see those glimpses of you.”
Nathan eyed his brother warily. “For God’s sake, don’t hug me.”
“How about I take you out behind the cabin when we get there and kick the ever-loving shit out of you instead?”
Nathan grinned, the ache in his chest easing just a bit. “How about you try?”
Ethan stared at him a long moment. “Welcome home, man. Just…welcome home.”
Home. Yeah. It did feel more like home now that he’d found peace. Shea. She was his peace. She’d been what was missing and why there had been such a yawning hole in his soul ever since his return.
Now it was up to him to return the favor and give her that same peace. He didn’t have a hell of a lot else to offer her. He was damaged. He wasn’t even sure what he was going to do with the rest of his life. But no other man would ever love her as much as he did. He knew that much. And no one else would be willing to give his life to protect her. Because he would if that was what it took.
He’d give her the goddamn moon if she wanted it.
He wasn’t the best man for her. She could do a hell of a lot better. But he wasn’t going to look a gift horse in the mouth. He’d savor every single moment with her and hope like hell that, when everything was over with, she’d want to stay. With him. Because there wasn’t a thing on this earth he wouldn’t do to make her happy and feel secure.
CHAPTER 27
“WELL, well, looks like the entire welcome wagon is here,” Donovan said as he stepped off the plane, dragging his gear with him.
Shea squinted against the sunlight as she stared onto the tarmac to see what looked like an entire military outfit. It was an imposing sight. Men…wait, there was a woman