White Noise - Don Delillo [91]
“A funny smell.”
“You mean some chemical from a plant across the river?”
“I guess so.”
“What do you do as the victim of a smell?”
“They have to tell us yet.”
“I’m sure they won’t mind excusing you just this once. I’ll write a note,” I said.
My first and fourth marriages were to Dana Breedlove, who is Steffie’s mother. The first marriage worked well enough to encourage us to try again as soon as it became mutually convenient. When we did, after the melancholy epochs of Janet Savory and Tweedy Browner, things proceeded to fall apart. But not before Stephanie Rose was conceived, a star-hung night in Barbados. Dana was there to bribe an official.
She told me very little about her intelligence work. I knew she reviewed fiction for the CIA, mainly long serious novels with coded structures. The work left her tired and irritable, rarely able to enjoy food, sex or conversation. She spoke Spanish to someone on the telephone, was a hyperactive mother, shining with an eerie stormlight intensity. The long novels kept arriving in the mail.
It was curious how I kept stumbling into the company of lives in intelligence. Dana worked part-time as a spy. Tweedy came from a distinguished old family that had a long tradition of spying and counter-spying and she was now married to a high-level jungle operative. Janet, before retiring to the ashram, was a foreign-currency analyst who did research for a secret group of advanced theorists connected to some controversial think-tank. All she told me is that they never met in the same place twice.
Some of my adoration of Babette must have been sheer relief. She was not a keeper of secrets, at least not until her death fears drove her into a frenzy of clandestine research and erotic deception. I thought of Mr. Gray and his pendulous member. The image was hazy, unfinished. The man was literally gray, giving off a visual buzz.
The water progressed to a rolling boil. Steffie helped the boy down from his perch. I ran into Babette on my way to the front door. We exchanged the simple but deeply sincere question we’d been asking each other two or three times a day since the night of the Dylar revelations. “How do you feel?” Asking the question, hearing it asked, made us both feel better. I bounded upstairs to find my glasses.
The National Cancer Quiz was on TV.
In the lunchroom in Centenary Hall, I watched Murray sniff his utensils. There was a special pallor in the faces of the New York emigrés. Lasher and Grappa in particular. They had the wanness of obsession, of powerful appetites confined to small spaces. Murray said that Elliot Lasher had a film noir face. His features were sharply defined, his hair perfumed with some oily extract. I had the curious thought that these men were nostalgic for black-and-white, their longings dominated by achromatic values, personal extremes of postwar urban gray.
Alfonse Stompanato sat down, radiating aggression and threat. He seemed to be watching me, one department head measuring the aura of another. There was a Brooklyn Dodger emblem sewed to the front of his gown.
Lasher wadded up a paper napkin and tossed it at someone two tables away. Then he stared at Grappa.
“Who was the greatest influence on your life?” he said in a hostile tone.
“Richard Widmark in Kiss of Death. When Richard Widmark pushed that old lady in that wheelchair down that flight of stairs, it was like a personal breakthrough for me. It resolved a number of conflicts. I copied Richard Widmark’s sadistic laugh and used it for ten years. It got me through some tough emotional periods. Richard Widmark as Tommy Udo in Henry Hathaway’s Kiss of Death. Remember that creepy laugh? Hyena-faced. A ghoulish titter. It clarified a number of things in my life. Helped me become a person.”
“Did you ever spit in your soda bottle so you wouldn’t have to share your drink with the other kids?”
“It was an automatic thing. Some guys even spit in their sandwiches. After we pitched pennies to the wall, we’d buy stuff to eat and drink. There was always a flurry of spitting. Guys spit on their fudge