Why Good Girls Don't Get Ahead_. But Gutsy Girls Do - Kate White [76]
That's when the trouble started. She didn't like having to answer to me, perhaps because we were the same age, perhaps because she thought she was more capable than I was. Whatever the reason, she bristled when I top-edited her work and she was snippy to me at staff meetings. I decided not to say anything to her, convincing myself that her discontent would burn off in a few weeks as she got used to the change in procedure. But things only got worse. I heard through the grapevine that she was complaining about me to the younger people on the staff, some of whom suddenly developed a weird coolness toward me. A little voice inside told me that I had to take the bull by the horns, and yet I was afraid if I confronted her she would simply accuse me of being paranoid.
One day, two people on the sales staff asked me out to lunch and said that they had a serious situation they had to speak to me about. They explained that this woman had now taken her complaints about me outside of the editorial department. “She's trashing you to anyone who will listen,” one of them said. “And because she seems so sweet, people assume she must have a case.”
Needless to say, I didn't feel much enthusiasm for my chicken paillard after their revelation. In fact, I lost my appetite for the rest of the day. The problem was not only bigger than I had imagined, it seemed bigger than I could contain. Obviously, it had flared up when I began putting “controls” on her, but it was surely more complicated than that—or else she would have simply come to me or my boss and complained. Bad-mouthing me to everyone indicated that there were other issues. Was she jealous of me, angry that I had the bigger job and she didn't? And even if I could now find a way to deal with her rage effectively, she had already done some serious damage to my reputation. As they say, when someone throws mud, a little of that mud always sticks to you, even if you didn't deserve to get hit.
That night, as I lay in bed unable to sleep, I did allow myself one moment of consolation. I told myself that at least I would never be so naive again. At least I was now armed with the fact that as you go through your career, you are bound to work occasionally with someone who will try to get you.
Unfortunately I couldn't have been more wrong.
You see, what I have learned in subsequent years is that my 200 A.M. revelation was a good-girl way of seeing the world. What a gutsy girl realizes is that there are not simply a few bad people out there who will try to derail you. Every single person who crosses your path is a potential saboteur. You must be ever vigilant—and when you spot trouble, you must confront it.
WHY EVEN NICE CO-WORKERS BECOME BARRACUDAS
With so much emphasis on teamwork these days, you may wonder how I could have such a negative attitude. Aren't we all working together now, cheering each other on, taking pride in each other's accomplishments? That does happen, of course, but let's not let all the happy talk mislead us. In addition to the fact that there are more than a few real nasty types out there disguised as team members, some of the nicest, well-meaning people will undermine you if the right conditions are created in the work ecosystem. And they may not even be aware on a conscious level of what they're doing.
There are two conditions under which people are most likely to become your saboteurs: (1) they're incompetent at the job they're currently doing; or (2) they feel threatened by you.
The Boss Saboteur
During my twenties, whenever a friend of mine complained about her boss and used the sentence “I think she's threatened by me,” I always reacted as if she had told me that a UFO had landed in her yard. I'd try, as a good friend, to sound concerned and supportive, but part of me was always highly skeptical. How could an experienced, accomplished boss feel endangered by a twenty-five-year-old, even if she was a go-getter? Then one day I experienced the same sentiment about a boss of mine—and I silently asked forgiveness of