Wild Ginger - Anchee Min [33]
I couldn't pinpoint when my focus began to change. I peeped through the hole one night and realized that I had been looking at Evergreen. I was examining him, in the most disgusting way: I memorized the number of pimples on his face, their location and size, how they changed day by day, and how his old skin flaked and grew new skin. I paid attention to the shape of his wide shoulders, big hands, and thick fingers. I indulged in the movement of his lips. My ears picked out his voice from their duets. Something rotten was infesting my insides.
I told Wild Ginger that I would like to quit.
"I'd call it a betrayal if you dare." Displeased, she threatened to terminate our friendship.
I pleaded, almost begging.
Wild Ginger held my hands with great concern. "Let's talk."
I shook my head. "You must release me from this before something terrible happens."
She laughed. "You are just bored."
"Let's take a break," Wild Ginger said at nine o'clock. She looked at Evergreen. There were butterflies in her smile.
Evergreen had acted oddly since his arrival. He had been struggling with himself from the moment he sat down. He kept changing his sitting position. "Have we read enough?" he finally asked.
She avoided his eyes. "Would you like to have some tea?"
He got up and followed her to the stove. She lit a match and put on the pot.
Standing behind her, he examined the stove.
"Try it." She turned the gas off and threw him the matchbox.
He lit the match.
She turned on the gas. "Now!"
He reached out.
The flame ring looked like a blue necklace:
He turned to her with the match still burning between his fingers.
"Whooo!" She bent over and blew. "Are you thinking about burning my hair?"
They were inches away from each other.
His hands went out, as if by themselves.
She was held, her head, her neck.
He held the pose in shock, didn't dare to move.
She struggled, but didn't run away.
He bent down toward her lips.
Her mind seemed to halt.
He let his mouth fall.
My heart raced.
Gradually their kisses turned into a wrestling match.
His hands went to free himself from his clothes.
He moved her toward the kitchen counter.
His clothes began to fall on the floor piece by piece. First the jacket, then the shirt. His chest was now bare.
Her will seemed to be paralyzed. She let him wrap her with his arms.
Pushing her against the corner of the wall he rocked himself against her.
My chest swelled.
There was no air in the closet.
My sweat steamed. I tried to hold my breath and tried not to blink.
I saw his hand reaching down to his zipper.
The pants peeled off like banana skin.
His butt was dark brown, tightly muscled. It reminded me of a horse's.
"Evergreen," Wild Ginger cried.
He didn't answer. He got down on his knees, pressing her onto the floor.
"Evergreen!"
He reached one arm out, lifted her, and spread his jacket beneath her. In one motion he laid himself on top of her and began caressing her.
I was completely rapt.
Wild Ginger cried. I couldn't identify whether it was from pain or pleasure.
His hands unbuttoned her shirt. Her breasts popped out, and he threw himself onto them.
"No!" she screamed as if waking up from a dream.
He locked her back into his arms.
"No!" she repeated, pushing him away. Then she sat up and looked in my direction.
He seemed confused. He followed her stare toward the closet.
I became nervous. In a hurry to pull myself away from the peephole I accidentally knocked down a tiny piece of decorative wood frame.
"What is it?" He was alarmed.
"My neighbor's cat." She turned him away. "It likes to visit the closet."
The night ended. Evergreen went home frustrated. I came out of the closet exhausted. Wild Ginger thanked me. She was proud of herself and promised that she would not be needing me much longer.
I felt somehow manipulated and said that I would like to go home.
"You don't want to chat?" Her cheeks were rosy red. She was stunningly beautiful. "You don't want to know what I feel? You saw everything, didn't you?"
"It's kind