Winnie-The-Pooh - A. A. Milne [8]
So Winnie-the-Pooh went off to find Eeyore’s tail.
It was a fine spring morning in the Forest as he started out. Little soft clouds played happily in a blue sky, skipping from time to time in front of the sun as if they had come to put it out, and then sliding away suddenly so that the next might have his turn. Through them and between them the sun shone bravely; and a copse which had worn its firs all the year round seemed old and dowdy now beside the new green lace which the beeches had put on so prettily. Through copse and spinney marched Bear; down open slopes of gorse and heather, over rocky beds of streams, up steep banks of sandstone into the heather again; and so at last, tired and hungry, to the Hundred Acre Wood. For it was in the Hundred Acre Wood that Owl lived.
‘And if anyone knows anything about anything,’ said Bear to himself, ‘it’s Owl who knows something about something,’ he said, ‘or my name’s not Winnie-the-Pooh,’ he said. ‘Which it is,’ he added. ‘So there you are.’
Owl lived at The Chestnuts, an old-world residence of great charm, which was grander than anybody else’s, or seemed so to Bear, because it had both a knocker and a bell-pull. Underneath the knocker there was a notice which said:
PLES RING IF AN RNSER IS REQIRD
Underneath the bell-pull there was a notice which said:
PLEZ CNOKE IF AN RNSR IS NOT REQID.
These notices had been written by Christopher Robin, who was the only one in the forest who could spell; for Owl, wise though he was in many ways, able to read and write and spell his own name WOL, yet somehow went all to pieces over delicate words like MEASLES and BUTTEREDTOAST.
Winnie-the-Pooh read the two notices very carefully, first from left to right, and afterwards, in case he had missed some of it, from right to left. Then, to make quite sure, he knocked and pulled the knocker, and he pulled and knocked the bell-rope, and he called out in a very loud voice, ‘Owl! I require an answer! It’s Bear speaking.’ And the door opened, and Owl looked out.
‘Hallo, Pooh,’ he said. ‘How’s things?’
‘Terrible and Sad,’ said Pooh, ‘because Eeyore, who is a friend of mine, has lost his tail. And he’s Moping about it. So could you very kindly tell me how to find it for him?’
‘Well,’ said Owl, ‘the customary procedure in such cases is as follows.’
‘What does Crustimoney Proseedcake mean?’ said Pooh. ‘For I am a Bear of Very Little Brain, and long words Bother me.’
‘It means the Thing to Do.’
‘As long as it means that, I don’t mind,’ said Pooh humbly.
‘The thing to do is as follows. First, Issue a Reward. Then—’
‘Just a moment,’ said Pooh, holding up his paw. ‘What do we do to this – what you were saying? You sneezed just as you were going to tell me.’
‘I didn’t sneeze.’
‘Yes, you did, Owl.’
‘Excuse me, Pooh, I didn’t. You can’t sneeze without knowing it.’
‘Well, you can’t know it without something having been sneezed.’
‘What I said was, “First Issue a Reward”.’
‘You’re doing it again,’ said Pooh sadly.
‘A Reward!’ said Owl very loudly. ‘We write a notice to say that we will give a large something to anybody who finds Eeyore’s tail.’
‘I see, I see,’ said Pooh, nodding his head. ‘Talking about large somethings,’ he went on dreamily, ‘I generally have a small something about now – about this time in the morning,’ and he looked wistfully at the cupboard in the corner of Owl’s parlour; ‘just a mouthful of condensed milk or what-not, with perhaps a lick of honey—’
‘Well, then,’ said Owl, ‘we write out this notice, and we put it up all over the Forest.’
‘A lick of honey,’ murmured Bear to himself, ‘or – or not, as the case may be.’ And he gave a deep sigh, and tried very hard to listen to what Owl was saying.
But Owl went on and on, using longer and longer words, until at last he came back to where he started, and he explained that the person to write out this notice was Christopher Robin.
‘It was he who wrote the ones on my front door for me. Did you see them, Pooh?’
For some time now Pooh had been saying ‘Yes’ and ‘No’ in turn, with