Witch and Wizard - James Patterson [67]
Ron Sayer: This young blues-rock star somehow won awards, dated superstars, and wowed audiences with songs such as “Your Skin Is an Amusement Park.”
B4: The band from Emerald Isle that took the world by storm in the original New Wave (which was a musical movement and altogether different from and in no way related to the New Order) and then took the world by storm again a decade later, and then the decade after that…. One of the most popular, and outspoken, bands of that deluded epoch.
We Shall Be Titans: A patently silly but nevertheless popular rock band that often featured the accordion, and whose deeply peculiar songs had been featured in the sound tracks of prime-time TV shows back in the days when there was more than One channel.
WWA: Wizards with Attitude, the seditious group that paved the lamentable road to hard-core wizard rap.
Stonesmack: Their debut album, A Flood of Redness to the Face, quickly catapulted this band to supergroup status, where they remained until Order came to the world.
The Walking Heads: They began as “art” rockers but ended up super-stars. One of their filmed concerts documents just how insane their fans must have been to actually pay to see them.
Toasterface: An “alt-rock” band that was foolish enough to release an album for free to their fans, thus denying economic benefit to their era’s tax collectors.
Lay-Z: A rapper whose biting, streetwise rap became so successful that he stopped bothering to finish his albums and lost touch with his fans.
MUSEUMS THAT HAVE THANKFULLY BEEN RAZED BY THE NEW ORDER
as Mandated by The One Who Micromanages Public Gathering Spaces
POPA: The Pavilion of Progressive Art. Located in the artistically unsound City of New Gotham, this glass-walled monstrosity was the repository for many of the most laughable pieces of art in what was considered—at the time—the great modern age.
The Britney: Also in the wicked City of New Gotham, this depraved institution became famous for its biennial exhibition of aesthetically questionable, morally reprehensible displays of garbage, which its patrons claimed to be the most current of “artistic expressions.”
The Betelheim: This structurally unsound, spiral-shaped museum was one of the most bizarre gallery spaces in the former world.
The Jonesonian: The national museum of one of the largest and least-tasteful countries on earth. It was in fact comprised of submuseums covering everything from postage stamps to airplanes to sculpture.
The Fate Gallery: Incorporating one of the world’s largest collections of both ancient and what was referred to as “modern” art, this museum is a prime example of why the last civilization came to an abrupt end.
The Fusili: Located in one of the older Old World cities, this was one of the most famous art museums of its time. It contained many pieces from an era that was referred to as the “Renaissance” but clearly was the height of the “Dark Ages.”
VISUAL “ARTISTS” WHO ARE NO LONGER SULLYING THE WORLD
as Annotated by The One Who Assesses Visual Stimuli
Pepe Pompano: Considered by many the most significant painter in the former world’s penultimate century. His “art” resembled the work of a kindergartner. One of his paintings, Magia—which apparently depicts a bombed-out city—was so large it took nearly twenty minutes to burn completely.
Wiccan Trollack: A bizarrely popular painter whose work involved exploding cans of paint.
Max Earnest: A deeply disturbed painter and sculptor who had no sense of proportion and whose works might have been hung in prisons to punish criminals—except that would have been grossly inhumane.
De Glooming: There is some debate about whether De Glooming was a real person or an elaborate hoax to prove just how poor the artistic tastes of his time were. The choice of shapes and color in De Glooming’s art can only be described as nauseating.
Margie O