Witch and Wizard_ The Fire - James Patterson [85]
miracles (noun):
Coincidental events that promote excitement and/or belief in false powers or deities higher than The One Who Is The One. All such unexplained events must be deleted from memory straightaway.
Mopus Day (noun, proper):
An ancient tradition that called for the most strict and sterile lifestyle, down to its followers’ modest garments and rigid schedule. The New Order found its obstinate worship of a deity other than The One Who Is The One objectionable, and the movement was disbanded, but many of its ascetic traditions have been implemented into everyday life at the Brave New World Center.
pray (verb):
The curious act of acknowledging — and attempting to talk to — a being reported to rank higher than The One Who Is The One. Anyone caught with hands folded together or bowed at the waist on the floor, without reference to The One, will be subject to the most gruesome punishment possible.
Prophecies (noun):
Chantable verses that claim to tell the future, often in unlistenable and unlawful poetry form. Prophecies are fabricated nonsense created by rebellious teenagers looking to cause mayhem. It is against the law for such utterances to be passed on in any form, regardless of how ominous they may sound or how clever their rhyme scheme.
The Reformed Nation (noun, proper):
When known Resistance sympathizer Barton Ruthmer posted an excessive list of complaints against the regime on the front door to the New Order palace compound, he was promptly executed. His remaining followers, should there be any left, will be, too.
(MORE) ESPECIALLY OFFENSIVE BOOKS THAT HAVE BEEN BANNED
as Dictated by The One Who Bans Books
THE ADVENTURES OF YINGYING: A silly, young self-employed detective with absurd hair travels the world with his small dog and forces his way into situations where his presence is unwanted. This book’s accounts of a common citizen’s brazen attempts to take the law into his own hands were loathsome, and the series frequently disregarded the infallible scrutiny involved in passing passport checkpoints. It has been banned from bookshelves to avoid any more fantastical errors.
BACKWARD STORIES FROM RESISTANCE SCHOOL: Twenty chapters profile twenty outlandish classmates in a traitorous school that lectures students about fighting the New Order regime, and recounts the bloopers of failed missions along the way. Using this treacherous book as evidence, N.O. soldiers located the school and destroyed it.
THE MYSTERIOUS DERELICT CIVILIZATION: A group of four children run about the ruins of an ancient office building once belonging to a corporation called Apfel, searching for clues about the rise and fall of its domineering yet completely shrouded empire. After the book’s publication, the author was gently reminded that there are perfectly good reasons why history has been erased, and such curiosity should be nipped in the bud.
STEVE PLYMOUTH: An adventure about an overly emotional, ineffectual young New Order recruit who must kill the ex-boyfriends of the young New Orderling of his dreams before they can be together. Although a solid take on the need for toughening up young recruits, the plot relied too much on romance and popular culture; the book is therefore banned.
THE SHADOWICK CHRONICLES: Twin boys move into their great-aunt’s Victorian home in what the previously uninformed author claims to be the Shadowland (a mythical location that the New Order has gone to great lengths to prove does not exist). NOTE: The author of The Shado-wick Chronicles has since been convincingly reinformed of the imaginary nature of “the Shadowland.”
A CRINKLE IN THE MIND: Three siblings develop so-called magical powers that allow them to bend time. They use this power to escape the current government and explore new and far inferior worlds. If these children were not fictional, they would already be on their way to one of the New Order’s many reformatories for confused and dangerous citizens.