Without remorse - Tom Clancy [258]
Zacharias ran his fingers over it, reading the notations in English, which looked incongruous on a map whose legend was in Cyrillic. He smiled his approval. A bright guy, Kolya, a good student in his way. The way he layered his assets, the way he had his aircraft patrolling back rather than forward. He understood defense in depth now. SAM traps at the ends of the most likely mountain passes, positioned for maximum surprise. Kolya was thinking like a bomber pilot now instead of a fighter jock. That was the first step in understanding how it was done. If every Russian PVO commander understood how to do this, then SAC would have one miserable time ...
Dear God. Robin's hands stopped moving.
This wasn't about the ChiComs at all.
Zacharias looked up, and his face revealed his thought even before he found the strength to speak.
'How many Badgers do the Chinese have?'
'Now? Twenty-five. They are trying to build more.'
'You can expand on everything I've told you.'
'We'll have to, as they build up their force, Robin. I've told you that,' Grishanov said quickly and quietly, but it was too late, he saw, at least in one respect.
'I've told you everything,' the American said, looking down at the map. Then his eyes closed and his shoulders shook. Grishanov embraced him to ease the pain he saw.
'Robin, you've told me how to protect the children of my country. I have not lied to you. My father did leave his university to fight the Germans. I did have to evacuate Moscow as a child. I did lose friends that winter in the snow - little boys and little girls, Robin, children who froze to death. It did happen. I did see it.'
'And I did betray my country,' Zacharias whispered The realization had come with the speed and violence of a falling bomb. How could he have been so blind, so stupid? Robin leaned back, feeling a sudden pain in his chest, and in that moment he prayed it was a heart attack, for the first time in his life wishing for death. But it wasn't. It was just a contraction of his stomach and the release of a large quantity of acid, just the perfect thing, really, to eat away at his stomach as his mind ate away the defenses of his soul. He'd broken faith with his country and his God. He was damned.
'My friend -'
'You used me!' Robin hissed, trying to pull away.
'Robin, you must listen to me.' Grishanov wouldn't let go. 'I love my country, Robin, as you love yours. I have sworn an oath to defend her. I have never lied to you about that, and now it is time for you to learn other things.' Robin had to understand. Kolya had to make it clear to Zacharias, as Robin had made so many things clear to Kolya.
'Like what?'
'Robin, you are a dead man. The Vietnamese have reported you dead to your country. You will never be allowed to return home. That is why you are not in the prison- Hoa Lo, the Hilton, your people call it, yes?' It seared Kolya's soul when Robin looked at him, the accusation there was almost more than he could bear. When be spoke again, his voice was the one doing the pleading.
'What you are thinking is wrong. I have begged my superiors to let me save your life. I swear this on the lives of my children: I will not let you die. You cannot go back to America. I will make for you a new home. You will be able to fly again, Robin! You will have a new life. I can do no more than that. If I could restore you to your Ellen and your children, I would do it. I am not a monster, Robin, I am a man, like you. I have a country, like you. I have a family, like you. In the name of your God, man, put yourself in my place. What would you have done in my place? What would you feel in my place?' There was no reply beyond a sob of shame and despair.
'Would you have me let them torture you? I can do that. Six men in this camp have died, did you know that? Six men died before I came here. I put a stop to it! Only one has died since my arrival - only one, and I wept for him, Robin, did you know