Without remorse - Tom Clancy [38]
'Oh, shit, Sarah ...' Sam looked away and nearly laughed. His wife flushed almost as crimson as the dawn.
'She persuaded me not to medicate her last night,' Sarah explained. 'She was a little nervous, but she wanted to try and I let her talk me out of it. That's what I meant, John. Sorry.'
How to explain last night? First he'd been afraid to touch her, afraid to seem to be pressing himself on her, and then she'd taken that as a sign that he didn't like her anymore, and then ... things had worked out.
'Mainly she has some damned-fool idea - ' Kelly stopped himself. Pam could talk to her about this, but it wasn't proper for him to do so, was it? 'She slept fine, Sarah. She really wore herself out yesterday.'
'I don't know that I've ever had a more determined patient.' She stabbed a hard finger into Kelly's chest. 'You've helped a lot, young man.'
Kelly looked away, not knowing what he was supposed to say. The pleasure was all mine? Part of him still believed that he was taking advantage of her. He'd stumbled upon a troubled girl and ... exploited her? No, that wasn't true. He loved her. Amazing as that seemed. His life was changing into something recognizably normal - probably. He was healing her, but she was healing him as well.
'She's - she's worried that I won't - the stuff in her past, I mean. I really don't care much about that. You're right, she's a very strong girl. Hell, I have a somewhat checkered past, too, y'know? I ain't no priest, guys.'
'Let her talk it out,' Sam said. 'She needs that. You have to let things in the open before you start dealing with them.'
'You're sure it won't affect you? It might be some pretty ugly stuff,' Sarah observed, watching his eyes.
'Uglier than war?' Kelly shook his head. Then he changed the subject. 'What about the medications?'
The question relieved everyone, and Sarah was talking work again. 'She's been through the most crucial period. If there were going to be a serious withdrawal reaction, it would have happened already. She may still have periods of agitation, brought on by external stress, for example. In that case you have the phenobarb, and I've already written out instructions for you, but she's gutting it out. Her personality is far stronger than she appreciates. You're smart enough to see if she's having a bad time. If so, make her - make her - take one of the tablets.'
The idea of forcing her to do anything bridled Kelly. 'Look, doc, I can't - '
'Shut up, John. I don't mean jamming it down her throat. If you tell her that she really needs it, she's going to listen to you, okay?'
'How long?'
'For another week, maybe ten days,' Sarah said after a moment's reflection.
'And then?'
'Then you can think about the future you two might have together,' Sarah told him.
Sam felt uneasy getting this personal. 'I want her fully checked out, Kelly. When's the next time you're due into Baltimore?'
'A couple of weeks, maybe sooner. Why?'
Sarah handled that: 'I wasn't able to do a very thorough exam. She hasn't seen a physician in a long time, and I'll feel better if she has a CPX - complete history and physical. Who do you think, Sam?'
'You know Madge North?'
'She'll do,' Sarah thought. 'You know, Kelly, it wouldn't hurt for you to get checked out, too.'
'Do I look sick?' Kelly held his arms out, allowing them to survey the magnificence of his body.
'Don't give me that crap,' Sarah snapped back. 'When she shows up, you show up. I want to make sure you're both completely healthy - period. Got it?'
'Yes, ma'am.'
'One more thing, and I want you to hear me through,' Sarah went on. 'She needs to see a psychiatrist.'
'Why?'
'John, life isn't a movie. People don't put their problems behind and ride into a sunset in real life, okay? She's been sexually abused. She's been on drugs. Her self-esteem isn't very high right now. People in her position blame themselves for being victims. The right kind of therapy can help to fix that. What you're doing is important, but she needs professional help, too. Okay?'
Kelly nodded. 'Okay.'
'Good,' Sarah said, looking