Wizard's First Rule - Terry Goodkind [320]
When she was finally finished with him, and unhooked the chain, he collapsed to the floor. He didn’t think himself capable of moving, but when she motioned him up with the Agiel, the mere sight of it made him do as she wanted.
“That’s all for today, my pet.” Richard thought he might die of joy. “I’m going to go get some sleep. Today was only a part day; tomorrow we will get in a full day of training. You will find a full day more painful.”
Richard was too exhausted to care about tomorrow. He wanted only to lie down. Even the stone floor would feel like the best bed he had ever slept in. He looked at it longingly.
Denna brought the chair over, took the chain that hung from his collar, and hooked it over the iron peg in the beam. He watched in confusion, too weary to try to figure out her intent. When finished, she walked toward the door. Richard realized there wasn’t enough slack to allow him to lie down.
“Mistress Denna, how am I to sleep?”
She turned, gave him a condescending smile. “Sleep? I don’t recall telling you that you were allowed to sleep. Sleep is a privilege you earn. You have not earned it. Don’t you remember this morning, when you had that nasty vision of killing me with your sword? Don’t you remember I told you that you would be sorry you did it? Good night, my pet.”
She started to leave, but turned back. “And if you have any thoughts of simply pulling the chain off the peg and letting the pain make you pass out, I wouldn’t try it if I were you. I changed the magic. It will not allow you to pass out anymore. If you pull the chain off, or fall down accidentally, and that pulls it off, I will not be here to help you. You will be all alone, for the night, with the pain. Think about that, if you get sleepy.”
She turned on her heels and left, taking the torch with her.
Richard stood in the dark, crying. After a time, he forced himself to stop, and thought of Kahlan. That was something pleasant Denna couldn’t take away from him. At least not tonight. He made himself feel good by thinking of how she was safe, and had people to protect her. Zedd, and Chase, and soon Michael’s army. He envisioned her where she must be, at a camp somewhere, right now, with Siddin and Rachel, taking care of them, telling them stories, making them laugh.
He smiled at the vision of her in his mind. He savored the memory of her kiss, the feel of her against him. Even if he wasn’t with her, she could still make him smile, make him happy. What happened to him didn’t matter. She was safe. That was all that counted. Kahlan, and Zedd, and Chase, were safe, and they had the last box. Darken Rahl was going to die, and Kahlan was going to live.
After it was over, what did it matter what happened to him? He might as well be dead. Denna, or Darken Rahl, would see to that. He had only to endure the pain until then. He could do that. What did it matter? Nothing Denna could do could match the pain of knowing that he couldn’t be with Kahlan. The woman he loved. The woman he loved, who would choose another.
He was glad he was going to be dead before then. Maybe he could do something to hurry it along; it certainly didn’t take much to make Denna angry. If he moved the next time she put the Agiel in his ear, he would be permanently impaired; then maybe he would be of no use to her. Maybe she would kill him then. He had never felt so alone in his life.
“I love you, Kahlan,” he whispered into the dark.
As Denna had promised, the next day was worse. She seemed well rested, and anxious to work off some of her energy at the task of breaking him. He knew there was one thing he had control over, a choice in. He waited for her to use the Agiel in his ear again, so he could jerk his head with all his strength, and cause serious damage, but she never did, as if she sensed what he might do. That gave him a shred of hope; it was something he had made her do. He had made her not use the Agiel in that way. She didn’t have all the control